Listen, I like men. Honestly, you can say, I love men. Everything about them is awesome. This is, I guess, my curse. Therefore, this is not about men bashing, male bashing, or whatever you want to call it. This is about some curious observations I have made; and, have had no other recourse but to reach the conclusion that men are idiots.I've really kept an open mind about this. Believe it or not, I am a sensible person. I weigh all the facts, take all the variables under consideration, and analysize before reaching a conclusion.
For example. I do not understand why men think that approaching a woman at a bar when they are intoxicated, drooling, and slurring their words would be attractive to us. Now, again, keeping the above formula in mind, I am open minded.
So the guy stumbles and sometimes falls over on his way to approach me, I look down at my feet at the idiot attempting to pick himself up, and sigh. He approaches me. Here's the conversation:"geye.. ma name sshis Joam.." after saying "what?" three times, I deduce he is saying, "Hi, my name is Jim." I hand him a napkin, "here," I say, "you are drooling.".. "Sanks" I turn away, hoping he'll leave, of course, he doesn't. Then he tries to charm me... I sigh some more. "gan I suy joo ace grink?" Again, after saying "what?" three times, I decifer.. "Can I buy you a drink?"
The conversation goes on until he just looses total control of his focus and is rescued by yet another speech impaired friend... "joory... ge'sh ad shoe nuch shoe grink. "What?... three times.. solve the puzzle. "Sorry, he's had too much to drink." NO SHIT, Sherlock! I smile and try to be nice, but man ... sometimes.
Now, how about some of the great pick up lines I've heard, and let me tell you... I've heard quite a few. But, here are some for the record book. Mind you these are "openers".
"Hi, do you eat?" My response, "if I'm hungry." What the heck?"
"Hi, I've been single for 2 years." My response, "congratulations." Again, what the heck?
"Hi, what kind of guy are you looking for?" My response, "one that doesn't slurr his speech."
"Hi, are you really here to watch the game?" My response, "well, seeing how this is a Sports Bar with a giant TV which I'm sitting in front of and there is a game on..." Again???
"Hi, are you a Marine?" ... "Do I look like a Marine?" Again????
I can't even been to imagine where he was going with that one, but for the love! Guys, really, what in the world is in your skull?? What happens up there is beyond me.
I don't understand. I just don't get it.
Exit! Right!
PS. This article was published at the SavvyTimes
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