It's not breaking up, it's taking a break

The conversation started fairly innocently.  Here we were, my friend, 24-years old... her birthday, and feeling blue.  Really?  "You're 24 and feeling blue?! You are young and gorgeous!"

But, she was.  You see her boyfriend had forgotten her birthday.  I guess age doesn't matter when it comes to an inattentive man.  "You are young, gorgeous, and deserve so much more."  I said, and I meant it.  Ladies, a man that does not put you first regardless of your age is not for you.  It's that simple. Never, ever settle!!!

Men move mountains, start wars, build "wonders" of the world for women.  We are it!  When a man is into you he will do whatever it takes, and he won't forget.  He simple won't forget.  He won't put you second, he won't leave you behind, and he certainly will get you beautiful flowers and a cup cake on your birthday.  Regardless of age, this he will make you feel like a Queen.

And, let's get it straight, it's not about money. It's about love, romance, and what makes you smile. It doesn't take much to impress us.

So, my advise on your 24th birthday and at any birthday;  it may be time to take a break... not necessarily break up, but take a break.  It's a new year, a new day, an brand new clean canvas and you are the artist holding the brush and the pallet!  Create the world you want!  And, never, ever settle!

"Maybe it's time for a break?'  I said... "not a break up, just a break. See where life takes you!"

Happy Birthday!  And, of course, Cheers!

Vacation of the Soul

There are times when we need to take vacations, as a matter of fact, vacations are a must.  We really plan these, don't we?  We save, we talk about them, we buy stuff, we pack, we take pictures, and we're so excited.  Vacations are a time to just relax even though it's probably the last thing we do on them, we live for these.

Those vacations are great and fun and wonderful, but they are vacations for the body not the souls.  The vacation we need most of all, is a vacation for our soul. A time to just retrieve inside ourselves, cleanse, reflex, and revive our souls.

Take a long, long walk through your mind, your thoughts, your memories.  Why are we storing  negativity, anger, fear?  Toss it away.  Keep strolling, walking and enjoying all the wonderful memories.  Find yourself again.  That person you were so long ago.  Find that treasure that you held so dear to your soul.  Where is it?  It's still there waiting for you.  You've just misplaced it with all the nonsense going on.  Find it, it's there waiting to be found again.

As you revisit yourself, don't forget about your heart.  Oh, that beautiful heart that has loved and lost, cried and laughed.  It's so amazing how it keeps giving, keeps loving, and keeps believing.  Smile when you visit your heart and know it always knows the truth before you do.

Then rest upon your soul.  Ah, there it is.  Your beautiful, shinny, peaceful soul. "How wonderful to see you again, I thought you were lost in the clutter of life."

These vacations into the self are essential.  Leave the noise of the universe behind, the voices of everyone trying to pull you in different directions, tugging, and jabbing, and pushing until you are just about to snap.  Let go of all the labels, the must dos, the will dos, the maybe I'll get to that.  Let it all go.  And, just retrieve into yourself and find the most amazing space on earth right inside you.

Find your true authentic self.  Your fabulous self.  Your amazing self.  And know that regardless of the earthly clutter, the noise and pollution of negative people, the labels, and the dust of the past, you are marvelous, Darling, just marvelous!

Lucy Tamajon
Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon

The Art of Friendship

Friends.  We all want them, we all need them, but do we really have them?  The "true" ones that is. And what exactly is a "true" friend anyway?  I'm not sure some of us have an inkling on what a true friend is or how to be one.  It really requires little thought, therefore, it's one of those things that baffles me when grown ass people don't or can't or better yet just won't be a true friend.

We all know them, "it's all about me" friends.  We go where they want to go, we eat what they want to eat, we have fun like they want to have fun.  And, all is good while we are complying, but God forbid, we put in a request.  It all goes to hell in a hand basket and we are simply written off.  Those, are not "true" friends.

In this virtual social media world, it becomes a little difficult to decipher between friends, but it really isn't that difficult.  True friends are there, always, whether they give you a thumbs up or not.  You don't have to speak to them every day, but when you call they are there for you to listen regardless of the time of day or even when they're elbow deep in their own crap. They are there in the good times, but most importantly, they are there in the bad times.

Friendship is not about just having fun, drinks, and posting pictures of all the good times you have. That's not being a friend, a real friend will never write you off.  We understand, we get pissed off at each other at times, frustrated on occasion, aggravated maybe; but we always forgive and never judge.  Real friends hang around not just in the good times but in the worst of times.  We hug one another for no reason at all and realize that the fun times are just icing on the cake.

We've all been blessed with amazing friends that we've had a life time, cherish them.  We've all been written off by the "all about me" friends, thank them.  We all have come to a point in our lives where we know what the art of friendship is, embrace it with gratitude.


Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2014

The Year of the Horse

What can I say, but what a year!  It's been 365 days, well not quite yet,  of madness.  I feel as though I've been caught in some sort of stampede of wild crazy horses.  I'm exhausted.

It's been a year of trials, of major tests.  The universe has challenged us like never before with an avalanche of emotions and trials.  I for one had to do some major soul searching, I've been humbled beyond belief; and in the process I've grown much.

I've had to let go of so much, strip down to the bare essentials.  I traveled back in time and revisited a place that I longed to be at, and realized that I could never relive the past.  As much as I wanted to redo what had been done, as much as I tried to reconnect to what was, I realized that my life had changed.  I was a new version of me living in a different place and time from what was.

I think we all reach a point in our lives when we look back and wonder, "what if"?  Not all take a leap back to try and get an answer.  I did.  In doing so, I discovered that there is no "what if" because the choices made were the ones that needed to be made.  The path was set and the journey inevitable.  I am where I am because it's where I need to be, now.

It was a journey worth making and essential.  Questions were answered, friendships solidified, loose ends tied or completely severed.  I came to terms with my life "as is".  I've embraced where I am with all my heart and came one step closer to me.

Sometimes, we need take these journeys.  Revisit ourselves at a different point in life and face the questions that we once turned from.  Most importantly, we must come to be at peace with who we were, and embrace who we are.  It is not an easy journey, it never is.  However, it is a must.

I survived the wild stampede of the Year of the Horse.  Although, emotionally exhausted, I know that living for the moment is all that we were meant to do.

Cheers to 2014 and looking forward to a fabulous 2015!

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2014

Bloom where you're planted

Bloom where your planted and the universe will take care of repotting you when you're ready not when you want.

I spent the first few years of my young life living in a room with my father, mother, and brother. One room in a house where my grandmother and great grandmother also had a room. Later we lived in an apartment. I recently looked up the square footage out of curiosity, 494 square feet. Our family lived in a spacious one-bedroom apartment of 494 square feet! I thought as a child it was a mansion, and it was.

We have to realize that we are exactly where we need to be at exactly the moment we need to be there. The universe is unbelievably powerful, we are just great doubters and manipulators of our own destiny. We decide we want something and we get impatient, we move, shift, and manipulate what we must to make it happen. Instead what we should be doing is allowing the universe to work for us naturally.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that being ambitious and going for what you want is a bad thing. I'm just saying that what we want and what we need are two very different things. We may want a big house, a fancy car, lots of great designer clothes. We may want vacations after vacations, and throw money around just because. And, there's nothing wrong with any of those things, but those things are not what we are made of. They may not be what we need.

All of us wonders at some point or another, “What is my purpose? Why am I here?” We think that we are defined by the things we have. If we are successful, if we drive a fancy car, we live in a big house, etc. etc., then we have found our purpose. But that is not the case. None of those things define us or our purpose. Instead, that endless quest for something bigger and better only bring restlessness and disappointment to our hearts. Because we simply cannot be satisfied and must be always looking for something more.

Our purpose, is simple, happiness. And, happiness comes from within, it is not where we live, what we drive, or what we own. Those things do not define our happiness. It just comes from inside our very soul and it will be the only thing that we take with us when we continue our spiritual journey.

Today, look around and take great joy in where the universe has planted you and be grateful regardless of our circumstances. Be grateful and bloom! When you have bloomed and outgrown you beautiful flower pot, the Universe will take care of the rest.

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2014

Mr. Darcy

"You know what your problems is?"  My friend asked.  "No, but I'm sure you are going to tell me."  I smiled and sipped my martini which by the way this conversation was headed, I should have made it a double.

"You're an incurable romantic, that's your problem."  I squinted my eyes, "That's my problem?  Jeeze, I thought you were going to say I drink too much and need to loose 10 pounds!"  She ignored my sarcastic remark and continued her pyscho-analysis of yours truly.

"Your head is somewhere in the clouds.  You need to stop romanticizing so much! He doesn't exist.  You've got to be realistic."  She said, gosh I could almost detect a bit of anger in her voice.

"Me?  A romantic?"  I laughed.  I couldn't help but laugh.  I mean after all aren't we all romantics?  What would life be without romance!  "Seriously,"  I said, "You're nuts!  Of course, I'm a romantic, who isn't."

"I'm not."  She said with pride and a broad smile.  "Well, I'm so sorry for you. How sad it must be to just settle for whatever without expecting a little, no wait, a lot of romance." She smirked, I guess she was the one needing the martini now.

Let's face it and this applies to all of us, men, women, and those still undecided. Romance is the spice that keeps relationships thriving.  Once the romance and the so called "sparks" fizzle out that's it.  It's over.  And, don't think romance is easy, oh, no.  Romance is much more than red roses and chocolates.  Romance needs to evolve, grow, and bloom along with the relationship.  And, there is nothing wrong with having expectations of a man and having him live up to those expectations.  Nothing at all. 

Of course romance does not equal love, and it certainly does not equal sex.  I think what's happened in today's modern society is that we have gotten it all mixed up.  Romance, sex, love, the words are interchangeable for many when they really aren't the same thing.

Romance is getting to know the person at a different level.  Listening, laughing, holding hands. Doing the little things in a big way.

Romance is being friends before anything else. Laughing and sharing good times and not so good times.  Romance is the seed that will grow and bloom into love. 

"Mr. Darcy was magical, I love him!"   I beamed at my friend and sighed.

 "Who?" She said. 

"Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice is the perfect example of romance at it's best.  He was so stubborn and set in his ways, but Elizabeth Bennet breaks him down. She chips away little by little and doesn't put up with his nonsense. They talk, dance, listen, argue, walk, and hold hands. They fall in love before there is even a kiss. Now, that's romantic!"

She rolled her eyes, "That's exactly what I'm talking about.  It's a book!  It's not real!  Men like that don't exist.  They simply don't."  She was frustrated, I sat back and sipped slowly, and smiled.

"Maybe I do have my head in the clouds, but my feet are planted firmly on the ground.  And, I simply won't settle for anything less than Mr. Darcy."

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2014

The Friend List

The friend list, what power it has. Some people thrive on additions of friends without even thinking about it. Just click and friend, it's that simple; and there you have it, a thousand friends to boast about. They comment, they give you a thumbs up, and they scroll down your endless “status updates” from what you had for breakfast to the color on your toe nails. We post, like, and friend everyone and everything without a second thought.

It's a virtual life we live in these days. We are the “Powerful Oz” living behind a curtain pushing buttons and posting our lives away. Only thing is that we've been doing it for so long, we've forgotten what real life is all about and how fabulous living is as opposed to simply posting. We sit around a dinner table with our phones out not speaking to people but texting, posting, and scrolling. “If it's not posted on FB or on Twitter, it's not real, it didn't happen.” I heard someone say recently which got me thinking, “What the fudge!?” (I didn't actually think “fudge” but you get the jest.)

We live in a virtual world. A cold, distant, and isolated virtual world. The more connected we try to be, the more detached we become. People just don't pick up their phones anymore. We can't sit and simply talk, chat, laugh, and give a thumbs up the old fashion way. We have lost the ability to share one on one without 500 other people reading about it and approving or disapproving. We have become a whole generation of virtual phonies. Harsh, perhaps, but the truth sometimes is.

As our virtual friend list massively grows, our real life friends are challenged to remain just that, real. I have found that those real friends will always stay true no matter how much clutter and diversion the virtual life throws at us. They will pick up the phone, they still cry, drink, and laugh with us, and we can talk for hours the “old fashion” way - sitting down face to face. They will be there live when you need them, no questions asked, and it doesn't matter what you've posted or not because they are real friends. How truly wonderful.

Recently, I came across an “old” friend wanting to stay in touch with him, I asked, how best to do this. “It's a complicated word these days.” I said. “Do you facebook, twitter?” “Honey, I don't do any of that just pick up the phone and call me. I'll be here.” He said. I couldn't help but smile from ear to ear. (I'll write more about him later.)

Status Update, Virtual Friends, 490; real friends, well, let's just say they're a whole lot less.


 Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2014

Pyramids of our Souls

Since ancient times, we've been clinging on to things. Things of value; jewelery, furnisher, paintings, vases, cars, knick knacks galore. The more things, the more we authenticate our lives. The pharaohs believed in this so much so that they built incredulous dwellings to house all their belongings to take with them in their afterlife.

They believed that things defined them and they needed those things so much that they had to take everything with them. Wow! That's a lot of baggage! Yet, who are we, what have we accomplished, and how will anyone know if we don't have things to accredit our existence.

And so, we live our lives building pyramids of our own and in there we stuff every single thing we can to authenticate our lives. We become so dependent on what we've accumulated that we cannot move forward for fear that everything in our pyramid will be lost and then what will we do without our things.

Instead we should be building a pyramid for our soul because that is the only thing we take with us whenever and wherever we go. A house is just that, a building with walls and a roof to shelter us from the outside world not to house our soul. And, yes, we turn them into homes, but it is the love and the memories that we cherish, not the floors or ceiling. The things we collect are not important but the memories they bring is, and those memories are stored in the pyramid of our souls and no where else.

Life is an incredible journey. It has highs and it has lows. There is so much to see and so much to do and it is our human instincts that tell us we must hold on to it all. Everything we gather and flaunt must be stored, kept, and we must cling to it because it identifies us and justifies our existence. In a way, it does, it is not the material that is of value but what we cherish in our hearts and store in our souls.

The only thing we need in this life time and all others, is us. We need very little things to travel anywhere; as a matter of fact, the lighter we travel, the farther we'll go. We live many lives and make many decisions that are so difficult because they mean that we may have to let go of all those things that we think define us when in fact it is just our heart that is the foundation of our pyramids. Ah, and those memories, those amazing beautiful memories that is what we take anywhere we go.

 Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2014

Time and Time Again

I’ve written about time, time and time again.  I believe that time is man-made and not a measurement of the universe, I too get caught up in the trivial ticking of the clock. 

I won’t bore you with the specifics of the theory of relativity but here’s the foundation. Einstein believed in multiple worlds.  And, I agree!! Naturally! He was way ahead of his time, oddly, but he proved Newton wrong who’s theory was that time was absolute. Time is relative as Einstein proved.

The thing is that if we clear our minds of the clutter that we have created, if we toss away all of the time constraints imposed by society, we would be eternally free.  Time is not linear, it does not end and begin anew; it continues on and on, just in different forms and simultaneously.  Our past, present, and future all happen at once.  Weird concept...not really. It makes perfect sense.

We do not and cannot age, our souls are ageless.  The change we see in the mirror is what our minds have created due to the constraints of the society we live in.

Okay, let’s break this down because I know I’m giving you a headache right about now.  Let me give you a proven fact and example of multiple worlds and time.  How many times have you thought of someone in your past, that you hadn’t spoken to or seen in years and at that precise moment of your thought, you bump into them or they call or someone brings them up?  It’s happened to all of us and that is because the past is happening right now. Today is the future!  Confused?  Well, of course because we have been trained to set limits and not open our minds to the greatness of the universe.

Humans have isolated time to its ultimate stressful form; there are years, months, weeks, days; and as if that isn’t enough, hours, minutes, and seconds.  We live our lives with a giant stop watch in our brains…TIC-TOC… TIC-TOC.  We scurry around day in and day out, hurry, hurry…do more, you didn’t do enough…. TIC-TOC… TIC-TOC.  Another day, another week, oh my God! Another year and what have we accomplished…. TIC- TOC… TIC… TOC!!!  We go to bed exhausted and we wake up at the sound of a deafening alarm yelling….HURRY!!! TIC!! TOC!!!  We drive like maniacs constantly looking at our watches… TIC-TOC!!!  Unitl…. BOOM!!!  We’re done!!  Time’s up!!!

It’s insane, this world we’ve created measured in time.  Einstein’s theory is the only thing that does make sense!  There is no existence of time.  Time is eternal as created by the universe.  Today is the future, today is the past, and today is the present; all wrapped up in one beautiful life that we need to just simply live without a ticking time bomb.  We need to remember what made us smile at the age of five because it will probably warm our hearts today.  And, as this memory comes to life, it IS happening, we are five again and we glow from the inside out.  Memories are not dead, they are real and exist, they are happening right now.  We just need to set our minds free and get rid of all the earthly things that tie us down.

What would you do if you had all the time in the world?  You do, so do it!  

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2014

Forgive but Never Forget - it's okay

Forgiveness is one of the most difficult teachings of any faith and the cornerstone of all.  Letting go of the anger and the pain of betrayal is so incredibly difficult.  We want to strike back, hurt as much, as deeply, cause as much anguish, and this is isn’t enough; we not only want all of this but we want to witness and relish the pain we cause because it was done to us.  An eye for an eye, if you will.

Yet, none of this brings peace to our souls much less heal our hearts.  I don’t think we can ever get over the pain of betrayal especially at the hands of someone we care about. The ugliness is difficult to understand.  

However, it must happen.  We must forgive even the greatest of offenders.  There is no other way to heal.

It is human nature to strike back, to hurt someone who has hurt us, but we must reach deep within our souls and find the inner strength to simply walk away. Any mortal can strike back but few have the heart to simply forgive.

Forgiveness does not mean, we forget; nor does it mean we condone.  Things may never be the same, you may never see that person again or speak to them and this is okay.  It means you say, “I forgive you for what you’ve done to me.”  And that’s it.  By saying and meaning that, you start the healing for you.  You put that person and the situation in the powerful hands of the Universe.  You let go and move on.  This may take a while, it does not happen overnight, but it must happen.

For me, I retrieve.  I retrieve deep into the depth of my soul and I find a quiet spot.  One that no one can enter, one that is just for me, and there in silence.  I do what I must.  Sometimes, I cry.  Sometimes, I scream.  Often times, I curse.  Sometimes, I pray.  Other times, I write or paint or draw.  Sometimes, I walk.  Sometimes, I eat or not or have wine and then sleep.  Sometimes, I read.  Lots of times I laugh, I dance, and I sit.  I do not revisit the past., only on TBT and only when it's good.      

                                                                                                                      

Then one day, it’s gone, the anger and the hate replaced by nothing.  You feel nothing for that person. And, someone wants to drag you in again into the darkness that is vengeance, and you smile, and say, “Nah, it’s okay.  It was no big deal.”  They think you are weak or stupid for not taking the opportunity to strike back.  But, you are not at all.  You are strong enough to let go, and wise enough to move on.  And, the wound is healed, a small scar remains, but that is okay.  It helps us remember the pain of betrayal and the peace that comes from moving on.                                                                                                                                                                         

Today, the sky seems to be a different shade of blue, a blue we have never seen before.  We smile because no one can break our spirit.

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2014

Cheers to Cupid

Saint Valentine's Day, what isn't there to love about this day (no pun intended).  It's all about hearts, roses, chocolates, yadda, yadda, yadda.  But, it really didn't start out that way at all.  Although, there have been many myths, stories, and fairy tales throughout the centuries, one fact remains.  Valentine is a Catholic Saint, and we all know that to achieve that title, one must be a martyr, naturally. His crime, he believed in love and he paid the price, with his head.  Literally, he lost his head for love.

It was never about him, it was always about loving others and bringing people together.  It was about sharing what sometimes lies so deep within our hearts.  It was about mending broken hearts and soothing lonely souls.  He committed no crime only to believe in love.

I may live a thousand years and have many lives, and will never understand why love is persecuted in such a way.  It is our only one true purpose.  The reason for our existence.... to love, to give love, to share love, and to allow love to bloom without boundaries.

How beautiful it is to see young love.  How wonderful to see "old" lovers whom have spent a lifetime together still in love.  How amazing to see a child loving his teddy bear and clinging to that blankie that loves him back.  How truly beautiful it is to see the flowers blooming in spring after a cold harsh winter letting us know that there is always the promise of something new.

Love.  How simple it is to do, and how difficult we make it.

We were created to love unconditionally and to trust with all our hearts.  Therefore, on this beautiful Valentine's Day, I'm sending a Valentine to the Universe.  It is simple and it from my heart of heart.  I ask to love simply all that there is to love and there is so much in this beautiful universe.  I ask to baste in the love you see all around you; to smile at a stranger; to laugh a little more often; to give without expecting anything in return; and to share your beautiful heart with everyone you touch.

I raise a glass of red and say, "Cheers to Cupid, good job Saint Valentine, and Happy Valentine's Day."

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2014

Beam me up Scottie

I remember watching Star Trek as a kid and thinking how incredible it seemed for the Star Ship to do the things it did, it could never happen.  I know people now a days make fun of the "technology" of these shows, but we lived in different times.  And, I for one, miss the simplicity of it all.

We had no microwaves, no cell phones, no computer; hence, no internet; no cable TV as a matter of fact we had three major networks and one public channel.   We did not have any GPS; yet, we didn't need any of it, we knew exactly where we were headed and we were never bored.  Yes, yes, as my children tell me, "were there dinosaurs, too!"  Smart asses.

I miss the times when people had conversations, we've lost the beautiful art of conversation.  I walked into my house yesterday, and my son said "Mom, you've been here 20 seconds and you've said more then most say in a day!"  And, I thought, how sad.  We just don't talk anymore and share our thoughts and ideas one on one.

We sit behind a computer and post.  We post where we go, where we eat, what we eat, and create a virtual world that's cold and distant.  We can't sit through dinner without texting or emailing or whatever, as a matter of fact, we keep are smart phones right next to us "just in case".  Just in case, what?  Not quite sure. We've become so connected that we have totally disconnected from our souls.  We can see what Prince William does across an ocean, but we don't know what is going on in our own communities.  We're too connected to the world and just do not have the time to sit and have coffee with our neighbor.

We have a whole generation that cannot put a sentence together, they write bingo instead of English.  We are missing living the moment because we are so busy posting the proof that there is a moment.  Now, don't get me wrong, I think it is awesome that we are able to stay in touch with family and friends across the miles.  It's fun.  However, let's not miss site that if we are living in a virtual world, we cannot experience the beauty of the real world, and it's passing us by at the speed of light.

I for one miss the human element.  I miss long dragged out conversations about nothing.  I miss sitting at a restaurant with a friend and just looking into each others eyes instead of texting and posting.  I miss that when someone had something to say to you they picked up the phone to say it.  I remember when there was a knock on the door and you opened it and there was someone just stopping by to say "hi".  Wow!  I took it for granted then.  Now, you get a cold frivolous text which may not even be a full sentence, but, "hey". Really you don't even have 10 seconds to text a full freaking sentence.  I'm over it, but I'm wondering how this new generation born into the cold gray world of technology will interact fifty years from now when "we" the Cavemen of the 80's are gone.

"Beam me up Scottie."  No, thanks, I'll just do it the old fashion way.

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2014

Havana on the Hudson

We were asked to come up with a resident of Union City, New Jersey who would be worthy of a life time achievement award.  As I thought, the floodgates of my mind opened and memories of the town I call home came gushing out.

Union City, New Jersey is not only historic but a town filled with incredible love.  It has earned two nicknames through the centuries,  the Embroidery Capital of the United States and Havana on the Hudson.  Incorporated in 1925, it is rich with unbelievable history that has woven a fabric unlike any other city in this great country.  Influenced by two major waves of immigrants Germans and Cubans, it has made its place on the map as “Havana on the Hudson”.  Yet, it is the greatest of melting pots that will ever exist composed of Germans, Irish, Italians, Jews, Polish, Puerto Ricans, dating back to the Dutch settlers in the 1660’s.

Growing up in Union City was a unique and soulful experience.  We were surrounded by the greatest city in the world, New York City.  The view on my way to school every day and as I stood on Summit Avenue and 28^th Street was the Empire State Building, and what a view it was.  It represented everything we could be and held my every dream.  We were lucky enough to have grown up in Union City when things were still “small” and there was a sense of community.  Everyone knew everyone else.  We were neighbors and everyone helped everyone else get their feet on the ground.  We bought milk and bread from the corner store.  There was a butcher down the block.  We rode bikes to school, played along Boulevard East and stared at the big city across the river with all its promises.

Who can forget Thanksgiving Day and the big game, Emerson and Union Hill?  Thanksgiving has never been quite the same without that game.  Roosevelt Stadium, Hudson County Park, St. Michael’s Monastery, Holy Family Church, Union Hill High School, Emerson, Robert Waters, Washington School, and Bergenline  Avenue, to name a few; all brings a smile to my face.  And, of course, Cuban Day Parade which is still happening and one of the biggest events that now take place and securing its nickname, Havana on the Hudson.

For me, this is home, Union City, New Jersey.  A “little” city sitting overlooking the Hudson filled with history, scenic views, mansions, apartment buildings, alleys, crowded streets, back yard bar-b-ques, and most importantly people  you can’t find anywhere else.

Who is worthy of the Union City Life Time Achievement Award?  Only one entity comes to mind, Union City, itself for cultivating a breed and weaving a multi-cultural fabric unlike any other for centuries.

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2014

Fast & Furious

Fast & Furious

2013 has been a year to go down in the record books; well, technically any year that we survive should go down in the record books.  However, this year has been exceptionally fast and furious.  It seems that the year just started and in the blink of an eye, it's over; boy doesn't that sound like something my grandmother would say!

I wonder how many of our new year resolutions we kept.  You know the ones that we sit down  and write out so carefully, "loose 10 pounds, exercise more, eat healthy, be a better mom,"  blah.. blah.. blah...  I for one stopped making resolutions a long time ago, find them fruitless, and well, let's see how can I phrase this tactfully, stupid.  Yes, they are stupid, and that's as tactful as I get.  Seriously, do we really need a list to remind us to be a better version of ourselves?  Not just a list but a list that we tuck away and forget about within a week and we're back to our old, "bad" habits.

"But, Lucy, there's nothing wrong with setting goals!"  My friend scolded when I voiced my theory on resolutions (among other things).  And, no there isn't anything wrong with setting goals, but goals are just that, a goal.  Now, stay with me because my brain is not necessarily "braining" today.

Goals are set as a final destination.  Something that we want and more importantly, we want to achieve.
Goals are challenges that we must overcome at all costs, not set and give up and dismiss at a whim.  Goals are real and they are achievable but with great effort.  I think sometimes we set unrealistic goals and set ourselves for failure.  Take a look at that resolution list, tell me, honestly, how many things on that list are you really going to do and how many are you just writing for the heck of if.  So why do it?  Why set yourself up for something you know you won't do!

Instead realize that in the earthly calendar (I say earthly because there are no calendars and no time in the celestial world - another topic for another blog), we have 364 days in one year.  That is a lot of days we are given to make a lot of changes!  Even when the year is fast and furious and seems to throw crap at us that we do not want to deal with, we can still do 364 things to be a better version of ourselves!

Let's break it down.  That forever item on the resolution list, "Loose 10 pounds", I know it's on there, so don't tell me it isn't!  Well, if you make one or two changes every day for 364 days, don't you think it'll happen naturally?  Of course!  We just stop.  For whatever the reason, we stop doing what we should, we let our brains take control, and all of a sudden we're back on the road to resolution hell and crashing into flames of defeat.  Okay, maybe I'm a bit dramatic, but you get the picture.

Here's the deal I'm making with you because I'm the first culprit to start and give up, I've realized how much so this year, 2013, which seemed to be like a freaking roller coaster ride from some action film which I didn't want to watch let alone be a part of.  Crazy year, the planets were just all bonkers and we here on planet earth paid the price.

The deal is just pick three things, just three things that you really want to do.  Get yourself an earthly calender, I don't have one, so I'll have to buy one... jeeze... hate those things!   Go ahead, write a list and write it on the earthly calendar, it will be your guide.  Be realistic about it.

For example, I have neglected my writing and my art.  I said I would write everyday and blog even if it's silly and no one reads it, but I haven't.  Why?  Doesn't really matter, there really isn't an excuse.  My art, if you can call it that, I haven't reached that part of my soul in years!  I keep putting it off, again, why?  Doesn't mater.  Therefore, first two things I will do this year is blog weekly; and I've committed to going to an art studio on Saturdays.  There.  And, so, that is how I will tackle my demons. One at a time.

Thing is that life speeds by way too fast and often times it lashes out, knocks us down, and beats us up a little.  That's okay, it's supposed to do that.  We need to get up, shake it off, and strike back.  Sometimes striking back just means accepting, adjusting, and embracing the changes in our life.  Sometimes, we can strike back with a smile and say, "that's it?  That's all you've got?"  But, we cannot quit, we cannot give up, and we certainly cannot accept defeat.  There is no such thing.

We buckle up, raise our hands in the air, and laugh.  We laugh as hard as we can because even though the ride may be fast and furious, we will survive it and be a much better version of ourselves.

Here's to 2014!

Cheers!

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2013

The Comeback Kid

I write because there is a great need that stems from my inner being to  regurgitate what is inside of me on to a blank piece of paper.  It's therapy if you will.  It has never been my intent to publish or post any of my inner thoughts.  

Then one day, someone said, "You should blog."  This after I told her one of my crazy stories. She even said she may publish me and she did in a very short lived on-line magazine, The Savvy Times.  I was shocked that anyone would be interested in reading the insanity that is in my brain let alone publish it.  But, it happened; and, my blog took off.

At the end of last summer, my blog had reached seven thousand plus readers (views).  I was humbled by this and the amount of private messages I'd received.  I am by far the most messed up person I know.  I own it, and to think that anyone would look to anything I said as guidance was mind boggling.  

One day, a friend said, "How much attention do you want anyway?  You have a blog, a fan page, and FB page, how much more do you want?"  I was hurt because this was never my intention.  Contrary to popular belief, I do not like the spotlight.  I am quite content being in the shade, a simple mushroom, under an oak tree.  This has been my quest (another story for another time).  However, the Universe has had another plan for me.  Nonetheless, her words were so piercing and judgmental that it all came down.  The blog and the fan page.  I kept my FB because I have so many beautiful friends I love and I like to keep in touch.  I retrieved into a spiritual cave and decided to do a little soul searching.  Was I really an attention hoarder?  I knew I wasn't.  All I knew was that there were people that read my madness, related to it, and somehow it helped them.  

It has been an intense year, heck, an intense life for that matter.  Spiritual journeys are never easy, often painful, and enlightenment comes in doses, in small shots of "Ah Ha" moments that we must work on daily.  We are all imperfect in many ways, this is okay.  We are all in search of the same things, happiness, peace, and love.  We are more the same than different.  And, those who judge, who point fingers, you seek to destroy our happiness do so out of their own insecurities and fears.  I have come to the realization that the only sole purpose for our existence is our happiness and self acceptance.  We can only work on ourselves, make ourselves happy, and must find inner peace before anything else happens. The journey is ours alone.  We cannot be "fixed" by others, and we do not "fix" others.

Having said that, I write because I find great joy and pleasure in it.   It brings me peace. It is my gift from the Universe.  We all have a special gift and discovery is fabulous.  If you don't like it, I don't care.  If you do, great.  If you can relate that's just awesome.  If you don't. oh well, you must be a much better person with zero issues perhaps you should be writing instead.

The first lesson, as we embark on a new journey and create a brand new path to self-acceptance is do what makes you happy.  Ignore the comments and opinions of those around you.  You can hear the voice in your heart loud and clear.  You know deep down the truth, do not let anyone dim the light that shines from within.  You are a beautiful wonderful soul created in light and with love.  Once you discover the beauty that shines from within your very heart, the fear in others will subside.  Because it will be your light that brings light into their dark hearts.

You may be down, you may be hurting, things may not look bright.  I tell you pick yourself up dust off the insults, the negativity, and the ugliness that surrounds you.  And shine.  Shine as you were meant to shine.  Shine so bright that you will blind the Nay Sayers with the light of your love.  You are the Come Back Kid, nothing can bring you down ever again.

Back to the Future

I don’t like looking back for fear that I’ll turn into a pillar of salt, but recently, I realized that there is a difference between looking back and living in the past.  Looking back into our past and even a trip back there may just be what we need to sort out our present and move towards the future.

Therefore, I took a trip way back into my past and had to visit and come face to face with some difficult choices I had made that were holding me back in my present.

First of all let me say how important atonement is.  We must let go of any resentment that we are holding on to.  We must say it’s okay, I screwed up, it was my choice, my mess up and this person had nothing to do with it; and move on.  I’ll spare you the details of my journey for fear that I’ll bore you to death.  However, I did discover that I had one big regret; only, one which is not too bad- College.  I never went to college because, well, it doesn’t matter why, I didn’t.  And, I regret this deeply.

I’ve battled with the thought of going back to school not thinking I could because I was too old and have put it off time and time again.  But, then the universe decided for me and as I searched for work every single door not only closed, but was being slammed in my face.  Why?  Not because I didn’t have experience or wasn’t capable or smart but because I didn’t have the one thing I had left undone.  A degree. 

It took every bit of energy I had, I cried feeling useless, but then once my pity party was over, I did what I had to do and enrolled back in college.  I strolled into campus with my head held high and faced my one demon head on, fear of being rejected.

Turns out, I haven’t changed much at all.  As I strolled through campus from building to building, humbled beyond belief, facing one challenge after another; I realized I was still the same girl I was so many years ago.  I still loved the same things, art and literature.  Still dreaded Math, why, I don’t know, just do.  The book store and library were still my favorite of places.  I’m still a lip gloss, jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers kind-a-girl.  Simple and uncomplicated.

I’m still  an overachiever not happy at all and frowned when my transcripts were pulled up by my advisor and he beamed, “You have a 3.58 GPA!”  “That sucks.”  I said.  He laughed, “We can get you into some really great programs.  That’s a great GPA.”   “It’s not a 4.0.”  I said.  He rolled his eyes.

I’m still drawn to people.  Love them, always have, always will.  Drawn to helping where ever I can, and I still don’t care about money (go figure).  I still have the same belief system and I still want the same things.  I’m me.  I found me as I was then and as I am now.  For a second the world I knew then became the world I know now and it was almost as if time had stood still.  Years of lies and covering up melting away.

So, at a time when I thought I would be kicking back and semi-retired, I’m going back to college.  I’m starting over from scratch.  I have to say this will be the ride of my life, and I plan to do it no matter how difficult, no matter how challenging, no matter how exhausting.  I’m going to smile and go back to the future.

I ask you, what dreams have you buried in your past?  What in your past is holding you back from your future?

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2012

Tic Toc

Einstein believed that we lived in parallel worlds and that the past, the present, and the future all happened simultaneously.   Quantum physics, if you will.  Complex?  Not really, but I won’t bore you with what I find to be a fascinating philosophy on the theory of time. 

However, what if?  What if our worlds did co-exist and the essence of time was but an illusion?  What if we could and did have the power to bring the past into our present recreating our future?  Okay, I’m getting a little deep, but what if?

Not too long ago, I sat having cocktails with some girlfriends.  All of us having experienced broken romances, hearts, and left wondering was there really a “Mr. Right”?  I asked a question because anyone that knows me knows this is what I do, ask questions.  “What if I missed him?”  I asked.  “Missed who?”  “Mr. Right.  What if I was too busy with lip gloss, high heel shoes, and fixing my big hair that I missed him.”  There was some silence.  “I mean destiny says that we meet the man we’re destined to spend the rest of our lives with early in our journey.  What if I missed him?  What if I never get a second chance?  What then?”

Okay that was more than one question, but they got the point.  And, after throwing that out there like a giant meteor from the cruel and powerful all mighty Destiny, we had to have another drink because, well, that’s what we do.

But, how many times have we wanted “do overs”?  How many times have we secretly wished for the chance to do it all over again?  What if we missed something, someone because we were too caught up in insignificant details that matter very little at the time.  And, what if that secret wish from the depth of our hearts came true, and we were given that chance?   Destiny suddenly brought us face to face with our past in the present and we knew now what we couldn’t see then?

That night as I drove home, I thought… yes, yes, I know, I think too much; but, it was a quiet thought that came from my heart and not my noisy brain.  And, I sent out that thought to the universe, “If I missed him, do you think I can have a second chance?  Is it possible that our paths can cross one more time?  And, please don’t let me be preoccupied with lip gloss and shoes!”

It so happened, the Universe was paying attention that night even though I didn’t realize it. And, not too long after that on a day after the Christmas holidays while I was preoccupied and frustrated with the size of my big fat Cuban butt that I was trying to squeeze into my skinny jeans, there it was.  My past, “You are too hard on yourself.”  He said.  “You look great.”

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2012

                                                                                                                                                                 

A Reason; A Season; A Lifetime

What is our purpose in life?  We all ask this question.  We get so involved in finding out the answer, thinking about it, and trying to make sense of it that we forget to live.  We get so caught up in “the purpose” that we miss out on the journey; the journey that is life.  It is as if we were on a beautiful train ride with the most majestic of sceneries, but the shades of our window are down.  We missed the ride because we were so concerned on the destination.

We have but one purpose and that is to live.  We wake up, we breathe, we smile, and we live.  We experience all that there is one second at a time because that is all that we have.  We are all connected to one another, and we drift in and out of each other’s lives as we should, when we should, and as planned.  Every single soul we come in contact with has a meaning in our lives.  They will be with us for a reason, for a season, or a lifetime. They enter our lives with a lesson and vice-a-versa.

The soul at the checkout counter; the waitress; the stranger in the elevator; the beggar on the corner; the neighbor you just wave at; your co-worker.  These people all have a reason why they come into our lives and they all bring a message, it is up to us to receive it.  Or, we may be the one carrying the message and we may not even know it.  These people stay in our lives for a very short period of time, they come, they teach, and they leave, and we move on.  There is a reason.

The souls that stay with us for a season are probably the most challenging for us to let go of.  A friend; a lover; a teacher; a neighbor that we sit and chat with, these are relationships that were meant to last a season.  We teach one another the lessons that we must in order for us to move on to the next stepping stone on our journey.  These souls leave on their own accord, we leave, or sometimes they pass away.  At times, these may be difficult relationships.  We must remember, we have the most to learn from those that hurt us most. We must learn to let go of these relationships otherwise we cannot grow, we cannot move forward on our journey.  The separation is painful at times, a “broken” marriage, a long term relationship with a significant other, a relative is difficult to let go of.  However, we must once the season is over and the lessons have been learned.  We were not meant to stay together longer than a season, let go.

A lifetime, we’ll recognize these souls because they will be with us until the end of our journey or theirs.  Our parents, siblings, and children; regardless of the difficulties we encounter, we are there to carry one another through the whole journey.  We meet these souls early on in our lives, a friend that we have known since childhood or met in our early years.  They may fade in and out of our lives, we may not see each our often, or speak daily, but we are there throughout.  These souls were meant to be in our lives for a lifetime, but sometimes, we must walk separate paths until the universe brings us together once more.  We must learn and grow before we can continue the journey together, but they are there with us because once we have met, the bond will be made for a lifetime.

Every soul is an answer to a prayer whether ours or theirs.  We need to let go of the pain, the guilt, and the anger and move on.  We need to learn to shift through all the petty details of life, to stop thinking of our purpose, and just live.  As we live, we will love, and as we love it becomes evident that this journey is the most beautiful trip we will ever be on.  

Don’t miss out on living worried about life.

Cheers, my friend.

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2012

It's the thought that counts

I had a recent conversation with a friend regarding gifting.  Gifting at Valentine’s Day to be more specific.  He was confused as to what to get a girl someone he hadn’t been dating for too long, he liked her, but was afraid of sending the “wrong” message.  He then explained to me how much men dreaded buying a gift for a woman for fear that it may not be enough, or too much, not spending enough, or spending too much, and what would the message be?  “It just messes things up.”  He said.  “Besides, she says she really doesn’t want anything.”

I was a little taken back by this, I didn’t know men felt this way.  Maybe they don’t and this was just an isolated case, somehow, I don’t think so.  I couldn’t help and wonder, “when did buying a gift for a person become such a traumatic thing?”

I thought back at my very first boyfriend.  Granted, we were teenagers, but that kid did the single most romantic thing any man has ever done.  Every month on the anniversary of the day he asked me out, he would give me a single red rose.  “So, you never forget.”  He’d say, and I haven’t, December 18^th.  He did that every month for close to two years.  To this day, I remember it with great fondness.  What did it cost him?  Nothing, really.  It was a beautiful  thought.  And, what did it mean?  It meant, he cared enough to put a little thought into me.

Bottom line, a gift doesn’t have to be expensive or big or extravagant.  It really doesn’t mean anything more than a caring thought.  Someone took the time to think of you and get a little something just for you because they cared.  It’s that simple.  There is no hidden message, there are no hidden expectations, it’s a simple thought.

And, men, just for the record, even if we say that we really don’t want anything, we do.  We do because it’s a token that comes from the heart of a person we care about and that means the world to a woman.

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2012

Castles, Princes, and all that Jazz

Since as long as I can remember, we’ve been told of the infamous Prince.  You know the one, the one that will be riding in on his white horse and shining armor. We know exactly what he’ll look like, we’ve been told this, as well.  He’ll be tall, dark, and handsome.  He’ll be strong and capable of battling dragons, demons, and scaling tall stone walls to rescue us.

So, you really can’t blame us, ladies, for waiting patiently for the infamous Prince and his white horse.  Well, tic, toc, tic, toc.  And, while, I wait, I do what I do best, think.  I’m thinking about all those beautiful fairy tales.  From Snow White and the apple to the Little Mermaid, and I try to figure out the real message behind the story. I think we get so caught up in the sparkle of the pixie dust that we miss the message.

I decide, I love all the fairy tales.  I love, love, love Cinderella who suffers the ultimate pain of losing a glass slipper!  She goes from rags to riches and owes it all to a shoe.  I love Belle who is able to transform a Beast into a Prince.  What a concept!  I take notes on this one, one never knows.

But, I think the one Princesses, we can learn the most from is Sleeping Beauty.  Sleeping Beauty takes a nap in the midst of the turmoil.  I like this idea most.  Things are nuts, spinning out of control in Aurora’s world.  There’s just too much going on and what does she do?  She takes a nap!  Genius.  She goes to sleep and lets the world battle it out without her, “Wake me up when it’s all over.”  I like this!  I like this a lot!  While she’s getting her beauty rest, there is a man working overtime to battle the dragons, scale stone walls, and conquer an evil witch!  Brilliant; and, when he’s done, he kisses and she wakes up and everything is fabulous!  Time to do a little shopping and prepare for a wedding, now this is a fairy tale if ever I heard one.

I think our Prince is out there ladies.  I think we just need to take a nice long nap, get our beauty rest, and let him battle whatever dragons he must to make it us.  He will, we just need to be patient just like Aurora.  Lord, the woman waited 100 years!  Now, what does that tell you?

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2012