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Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Forgive but Never Forget - it's okay

Forgiveness is one of the most difficult teachings of any faith and the cornerstone of all.  Letting go of the anger and the pain of betrayal is so incredibly difficult.  We want to strike back, hurt as much, as deeply, cause as much anguish, and this is isn’t enough; we not only want all of this but we want to witness and relish the pain we cause because it was done to us.  An eye for an eye, if you will.

Yet, none of this brings peace to our souls much less heal our hearts.  I don’t think we can ever get over the pain of betrayal especially at the hands of someone we care about. The ugliness is difficult to understand.  
However, it must happen.  We must forgive even the greatest of offenders.  There is no other way to heal.
It is human nature to strike back, to hurt someone who has hurt us, but we must reach deep within our souls and find the inner strength to simply walk away. Any mortal can strike back but few have the heart to simply forgive.

Forgiveness does not mean, we forget; nor does it mean we condone.  Things may never be the same, you may never see that person again or speak to them and this is okay.  It means you say, “I forgive you for what you’ve done to me.”  And that’s it.  By saying and meaning that, you start the healing for you.  You put that person and the situation in the powerful hands of the Universe.  You let go and move on.  This may take a while, it does not happen overnight, but it must happen.

For me, I retrieve.  I retrieve deep into the depth of my soul and I find a quiet spot.  One that no one can enter, one that is just for me, and there in silence.  I do what I must.  Sometimes, I cry.  Sometimes, I scream.  Often times, I curse.  Sometimes, I pray.  Other times, I write or paint or draw.  Sometimes, I walk.  Sometimes, I eat or not or have wine and then sleep.  Sometimes, I read.  Lots of times I laugh, I dance, and I sit.  I do not revisit the past., only on TBT and only when it's good.      
                                                                                                                      
Then one day, it’s gone, the anger and the hate replaced by nothing.  You feel nothing for that person. And, someone wants to drag you in again into the darkness that is vengeance, and you smile, and say, “Nah, it’s okay.  It was no big deal.”  They think you are weak or stupid for not taking the opportunity to strike back.  But, you are not at all.  You are strong enough to let go, and wise enough to move on.  And, the wound is healed, a small scar remains, but that is okay.  It helps us remember the pain of betrayal and the peace that comes from moving on.                                                                                                                                                                         

Today, the sky seems to be a different shade of blue, a blue we have never seen before.  We smile because no one can break our spirit.

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2014

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