Winter of the Heart

Winter seems so unnecessary at times. The temperature drops. The sun hibernates. The cold seeps in and the brutal wind seems to cut right into our bones. We try to find the warmest of sweaters, socks, and blankets.

Everything dies in winter. The trees go bare; the skies are gray; and, the lakes freeze. There is an unusual silence that comes with the whisper of the cold; and we find comfort within our homes. We cook hearty meals, cuddles up on the couch, and smile at a cup of hot cocoa with whip cream, of course. The simple pleasures of this complicated life.

God works his winter magic on our hearts as well. A necessary freeze of the heart so that it can retreat to the soul and find its way back to spring. God needs our hearts to be whole and in sync with His plan not ours. We get so caught up in all the distractions that we forget what the heart is truly for. We forget that we have a major role in God’s plan and that our sole reason for existence is to fulfill His plan not ours.

Hence, a winter of the heart where everything stops within us slowing down the world around us. It’s so cold and our hearts barely beats. We hide under thick blankets, our bodies soar and tire, our head pounding, and when we thought nothing else can go wrong, we’re burning up, and all we can do is shut our eyes and listen. And, there in the silence, our faith is tested.

We need winter for without winter there is no promise of spring and rebirth. Without the bitter cold, we cannot appreciate the warmth of the sun. Without the frozen lakes, we cannot enjoy the feel of the ocean waves. Without a retreat of the heart, our souls cannot find comfort in this world.

It is when all goes dark and we think we’re blind that the light is brightest. We just need to stop, have a warm cup of hot chocolate for the soul, and believe.

Same Old Lang Syne

Something happens when you bump into someone from the past that you thought was in the past forever. It’s as if time stands still for a second, you try to remember, and then in a blink of an eye, it all comes back to you. Your heart stops, you catch your breath, and smile.

Unfortunately, we can’t turn back time , we can’t look forward, and are left standing in the present. This is it. This moment is all we have, all we will ever have, and you’re lost trying to find the words that won’t make you feel like a complete idiot. It doesn’t matter because just one smile and you are seriously stumbling and wishing the moment would never end, but it does.

We rarely are given second chances in life. Rarely, given the opportunity to “fix” what was done and make it right. So, why when given the chance do we not take it? Why when the Universe resets to give us a second opportunity, do we pass it up? Why do we choose to live among the memories instead of making new ones?

We don’t say what is in our hearts and the moment is gone, yet again. Left with nothing other than a wound that has been opened, we bow our head, say “so long”, and wake away from our destiny.

I wonder how many opportunities does the Universe grant?

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2010

Do you see what I see

It is so easy to forget about the true meaning of Christmas. We get caught up in the lights, pretty boxes and bows. There just never seems to be enough gifts under the tree. We want more, more, more and forget the message.

I understand. It is so easy to get caught up in the glimmer and luster of all those beautiful gifts. I love the gifts in pretty boxes with bright bows too. I adore them. However, it's never been about the gift for me, it's always been about the person giving the gift. If you really think about it, the gift means little when it doesn’t come from the heart.

Christmas is about new beginnings, about letting go of all the old ways of the past, and starting over. Christmas is about giving of ourselves from our soul, not giving meaningless objects. Christmas is a smile to a stranger, a helping hand to a friend, a note of inspiration, a kind word, a good laugh, and a warm hug. Christmas is a message to the world that there is love for all and that God's gift is so much greater than any pretty little box under a tree. Christmas is believing that there is more than all the earthly distractions.

Christmas is believing in Santa Claus who magically gives all that he has to all that truly needs it. Christmas is knowing that regardless of what is wrong with the world, our hearts can heal it all because love is so much bigger than anything else. It’s the hope that one baby brings to a dark universe.

This Christmas my gifts will be hard to wrap. Some of my friends may not even know that I gave them a gift, but I have. My children will get their Christmas wishes because their mom still believes in Santa, and I've put in a good word for them.

As for mom, well, the only thing I want for Christmas is to be able to get back into my size 2 skinny jeans. Man, all this eggnog and fruitcake is brutal on a girl.

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2010

Nip Tuck

It’s that time of the year, when we look at ourselves, look back, analysis, and set resolutions for a new year. A couple of my friends have recently set goals to do a little “nip tuck” to help them with their personal “new you” appearance. I have to admit, I’m all for it. Listen, if I had the extra cash, I’d do a little nipping and tucking myself. This got me thinking about what exactly would I nip and what exactly would I tuck?

Strangely, it wasn’t my physical that I was so much wanting to change but my personal life. Isn’t it funny how we gather baggage, sagging attitudes from friends, and excess negativity that we really don’t need. It all seems to gather up, bunch up, and build up without our even noticing it until we find ourselves in a rut and can’t understand why.

Recently, I spent some time with a friend who seemed very upbeat and positive from the surface, but once I was able to spend more time with them, I realized that this wasn’t the case at all. Every story they shared was a negative one, something “bad” was always happening to them or someone they knew; they were always in a personal crisis or with someone else in a crisis. Believe me when I tell you that at times I wondered, how much negativity can be in one person’s life? Not only that but because there was so much negative energy in their lives, they needed to suck out the positive energy from mine! It was all about them, all the time. What they had done to “help” someone else, how they had helped, and who else they helped. I was astounded about how many friends in “crisis” they had that needed help all the time! As much as I liked this friend, I just couldn’t continue the relationship. It was making me old and tired. Time for a little nipping.

The people in our lives need to bring us up, not just bring us down. They need to help give us the emotional “lifts” that we need not just drag us into an emotional gutter. They need to re-energize us not just suck the life out of us.
So, this holiday season, we need to take a good hard look at our lives, our friends, the people in it, and make some hard decisions. It may hurt to take that scalpel out and we may need a little recovery time, but it is so essential. Nip the ones that need to go; and, those that feed our souls tuck next to our hearts.

Ground Hog Day

The quiet of the morning tells us so much about ourselves, and we realize what’s truly important and what’s not. This may be it. This day may be all we get and it is up to us how we choose to spend it. We can agonize about situations. We can be mad at people. We can cry, pout, and worry. Or, not.

One more day, how lucky are we? One more day to do it all over again and set it right even if for just one day. One more day to love, laugh, hug, dance, eat, drink, and smile. We get to forget, erase all that happened yesterday. It’s gone and done with.

Therefore, today, as I walk out of my door on this very beautiful crisp December morning, I will smile more especially at strangers. I will sing and dance and love. And, when the day is over, I will hope to get another and do it all over again but with a little more passion than today.

Caution Handle with Care

Don’t you wish men came with a big label plastered on their forehead that read, “Caution, psychotic man enclosed. Handle with care.” Wouldn’t that make our lives so much easier? But, they don’t, unfortunately. Therefore, we need to proceed with great caution.

When we were 16, it was okay to rush in. If things got a little too hot, we quickly let go, and moved on. It was okay to go a little fast, it was all part of the learning curve. But, we’re not 16 anymore. We have learned from rushing in too fast too many times; and, the lessons have been hard, difficult, and painful at times. We had the time to spare then, now not so much.

In our quest for “Mr. Right”, we have learned how to sift, carve, and find that unbelievable man that is out there waiting for us. It’s okay if we stumble, fall, and get our knees skinned on occasion. It happens. No biggie. The important thing is to enter with caution. Slow it down a bit, no need to speed into relationships. Stride in slowly, carefully, and with patience. And, ladies, listen to that little voice that is always so right.

Listen carefully and never doubt, conversations and much time spent together will slowly reveal what lies beneath and no label will be necessary because truth always prevails and rises to the occasion. Just slow it down and if he is right, he’ll wait; and if not, it won’t matter.

Poker Face

We are dealt a hand; we study it; and we do the best we can to play it. Time and time again, we fold. We smirk at the hand we’re dealt. We sigh in disbelief. And, at times, we put all we’ve got into the pot only to walk away empty handed leaving all that we are on the table.

Frustrated, we wonder if we’re ever going to be able to reap the rewards. How many more hands do we need to play? Is it worth it? Should we stop and just quit the game altogether?

Exhausted, from losing time and time again, we wonder why some take the pot so easily while we struggle endlessly.

Somehow, we find the courage to jump right back in the game and praying that this will be our hand. The one we’ve been waiting for. The one that will get us to that pot that we’ve been dreaming of for so long. But, our chip count is low, we’ve got very little left to give and what if we give all we have yet again only to walk away with nothing one more time.

We sit still. We stare at our hand knowing that it may never ever be this good again. Knowing that this is the winning hand, we hesitate. Do we have the guts to bet it all or will we fold? Throwing it all in the pot with nothing left, we forge on in the game of life.

The Sound of Silence

There is something to be said for silence. So much to be heard in the depths of the sound waves that flow through the vastness that is. The pleasure of listening to the universe and the message that it tries to convey on a daily basis; minute by minute; with every second that passes by.

Problem is that we create a world of noise around us. We create havoc and clutter. We create thunderous noise that impedes us from hearing what is being gently whispered. We are blind to the colors of the sunrise; the turning of the leaves; the blues of the ocean. We are deaf to the sound of the waves; the morning robin’s melody; the whisper of the wind.

How simple life would be without the clutter that we bring to the universe. The constant bickering and arguing; the pride; the vanity; and, the greed. How fabulous if every second would be treasured as if it were our last. If we loved without conviction. If we gave without expectations. If we listened to the sound of silence.

For all we have for certain is this second. All we are guaranteed is this moment. All we really need is now. If we would shed all the false layers created by the ego and allowed our soul to shine through, we would see the reflection of the universe. And, it would all make perfect sense. Nothing for us to do but be.

Sugar & Spice

The lady, an extinct species. A forgotten breed, left to parish among the so called trivial things of the past. Seems that the progressive movement has lead us into a new dark age for today’s woman.

Forgotten are the days of beautiful love letters, poems, champagne, roses, and lyrics born from the elegance of a lady. Left in the wallows of the past is the old-fashion lady who batted her eyes and even blushed when a man approached her. We traded in romance for sex.

Today’s woman in the quest for independence and equality is a washed down version of a true lady. Elegance, taste, décor, and the simple things that set women aside from the mundane has been tossed aside and exchanged for nothing more than a loud, cheap version of what was.

No need to advertise, a quiet whisper can be just as effective. No need to scream it out, a soft smile can say as much. Sometimes silence is louder than words. Women are by far the most beautiful creature created in the universe. Why do we not value ourselves for the precious gems that we are?

Call me stuffy, old-fashioned, ridiculous, and any other adjective you’d like to throw in there, but this is one girl that still believes in sugar and spice and everything nice.

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2009

Through the Looking Glass

I stood before the mirror this morning, and I wondered what was on the other side. More specifically, who? Did I even know that person staring at me, and could I cross over into her world? Maybe it was a better world? Maybe she had answers to some of my questions? She must, she looked familiar. Did she know why nothing had turned out as “planned”. Surely, she would know. And, so, I stepped through the looking glass.

As I did so, everything was in reverse. It was as if I was looking at an “old fashion” negative of a picture. Everything was on the opposite side. Up was down. Left was right. Black was white. The colors did not correspond. The sky was not blue, but purple. The oceans were soft and calm; and the moon was within reach. I walked through her world, and I found comfort in the peace that she showed me. As we sat on a star, we shared thoughts.

She did not question the choices made, they were all good, they were all necessary. She did not torture herself with guilt about how she had loved. She did not expect much from those around her. She had no disappointment about how she raised her children because they were not “hers”, they belonged to the world. She was grateful for being a vessel to bring them forth. She understood happiness, it stems from within. She took time to point out the “things” around her, noting that they were not mere “things” but details within a beautiful painting. There was so much comfort in her being. Her smile was bright, and as I stared at her, I knew everything would be alright.

As I stepped in front of the mirror again ready to journey back; somehow, I did not recognize who I was at all. I wondered if I wanted to journey back into my “old” world. The world through the looking glass seemed so much more beautiful. Perfect.

I looked at the woman again, she was young, carefree, and childlike. I know I've seen her before. I hesitated, and asked a simple question, “Can I stay?” She smiled. “You've never left. You just need to shed the layers of falseness created by the world you live in and not the world you were born into.”

He loves me. He loves me, not.

Remember when we were kids and we were trying to figure out if some guy “liked” us. We'd pick a daisy from a garden and sit on our front stoop; “he loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not.” Hoping that that last petal would have the answer our heart was waiting for. And, if it didn't we'd do it all over again.

A mountain of petals later, years of experience in the field of love, I am able to advice my friends and help them seek answers to their love situations without having to dismantle anymore flowers; but, I'm still plucking at petals in hopes of getting the answer to my own heart's desires.

I sit astonished and wondering how I missed the signs? Were there signs? Am I reading too much into something that is not there? How did I miss it? Or, did I?

Perhaps, I just can't believe that what I am able to point out to others as “obvious signs” that, “yes, girl! What's wrong with you? He's interested.” ; in my own circumstances, I cannot see. Am I totally blind? I don't think so.

Deep down, I am more of a child than I thought I was. Or perhaps, I haven't lost my little girl dream; still looking at the horizon waiting patiently for that Prince on a white horse, I just have a fairytale heart that regardless how beat up it is, it still believes.

Dissolution by life's hard knocks, I find myself sitting on my front stoop this Autumn morning holding a beautiful pink pansy with five amazing petals. No plucking required, I can do the math.

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2010

Once Upon a Time

I'm wondering how real romance is and how much is a made up fantasy in our minds? Ever since we were little girls, we were told of the infamous Prince Charming who would ride in one day on his wonderful white horse and whisk us away to his Castle. We would live “happily ever after.” Well, where is he already?

I think women are so exhausted waiting for the dashing Prince that we are starting to hallucinate. I'm taken back by how many “mature” women are still not only waiting for Prince Charming but see him where he doesn't exist!

It seems we see things that don't exist. We pick up “signals” that aren't really “signals” at all, and we wind up making fools of ourselves. Our quest for Prince Charming has diluted what is reality, and as we sit and sip our Martinis we seem to see our infamous Prince on the horizon.

The plot thickens when we are given what seems to be the social platform of the 21st Century, Facebook. Here we can hide behind a shield that only reveals bits and pieces of who we are. At times, creating a character that we once read about and isn't real at all. We read too much into a status or a song posted on a friend's wall and think, “it must be for me! Yes!! He is talking to me!” We dream and dream and think this is where he is! It's a desperate attempt of living life behind the wall created by no one other than yourself.

Once upon a time, there was a fairy tale land. Reality tells us differently. We are all just human trying to get through this messy thing called life. So, put the fairy tale down, appreciate the man you've got, count your blessings for the romances that you've had, and move on.

Back to the Future

It's funny how life works. I am one who believes that looking back at your past gets you little. It really doesn't do much to wallow in the past for how can you move forward, if you are stuck in the past.

However, this weekend has thrown me a huge curve ball, and if I learned anything from sitting at dozens upon dozens of my boys baseball games, it's how to hit a curve. You sit back, wait, and swing.

I am sitting, as we speak, and looking back into my past to find my future. I fear that I may turn into a pillar of salt; or melt away into a puddle of regrets; or perhaps, I may just simply find the answers to my destiny burried in the past.

Either way, I must head out on an excavation of sort. I must dig deep and search far into the past to move forward in my life. I'm prepared for this journey of the heart.

I'm excited for what will I find on this quest Back to the Future?

How about you? What dreams have you burried deep in your heart that need to be rescued?

Love at First Sight

The question seemed simple enough, “let me ask you something.” My friend said. “Sure. Shoot.” I smiled. “Do you believe in love at first sight?”

Without hesitation, I replied, “Yes. Yes, I do.” I think I shocked both my girlfriends out of their seats.

“Really? But, how can it be love if you don't know the person? Isn't it lust?”

Of course, not. The soul knows. It knows instantly when it meets the person that it was meant to spend forever with. Too bad we think too much. We stop and think and listen to the thoughts that drown the heart.

I know this sounds strange coming from me because most of you think that I don't believe in love at all. What I don't believe in is bullshit. That, I can do without. Love is a whole different ball game.

Yes, there is such a thing as seeing someone for the first time and “falling” in love just by one look, a smile, a simple hello. It happens when you least expect it. It happens at a moment when the universe stands still, the planets align, and the earth and the stars collide. It happens without warning and when it does, you know it because your heart will tell you so. Your heart will skip a beat, your throat will go dry, and your face will become flushed. You'll try to say something witty, but you won't. You'll try to look just right, but it won't matter. All you will do is wish the moment will be frozen in time, and it will.

It will be that moment etched in your heart that will bring warmth on cold lonely nights. It will be that smile from so long ago that you will never forget. It will be that first awkward hello that will make you giggle in a crowded dinner table years later. It will be that first kiss that you shared that will warm your tired soul, and it will be your beautiful secret.

Yes, I believe in love at first sight, I also have a vivid imagination.

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2010

Life Happens

I know, I have been away for awhile. Sometimes life happens, and we get caught up, tangled, and lost in ourselves. Not sure if it is a good thing or not, it just is. The challenge is finding our way back out into the "real" world.

So, here I am back into the swing of things and making a commitment to post at least twice a week. And, if I don't live up to it, it is up to you all to scold me and hold me up to my own expectations of self. Afterall, this isn't about me, not really, it's about reaching out and helping others.

Ahh.. who am I kidding, you know it's all about me.