Havana on the Hudson

We were asked to come up with a resident of Union City, New Jersey who would be worthy of a life time achievement award.  As I thought, the floodgates of my mind opened and memories of the town I call home came gushing out.

Union City, New Jersey is not only historic but a town filled with incredible love.  It has earned two nicknames through the centuries,  the Embroidery Capital of the United States and Havana on the Hudson.  Incorporated in 1925, it is rich with unbelievable history that has woven a fabric unlike any other city in this great country.  Influenced by two major waves of immigrants Germans and Cubans, it has made its place on the map as “Havana on the Hudson”.  Yet, it is the greatest of melting pots that will ever exist composed of Germans, Irish, Italians, Jews, Polish, Puerto Ricans, dating back to the Dutch settlers in the 1660’s.

Growing up in Union City was a unique and soulful experience.  We were surrounded by the greatest city in the world, New York City.  The view on my way to school every day and as I stood on Summit Avenue and 28^th Street was the Empire State Building, and what a view it was.  It represented everything we could be and held my every dream.  We were lucky enough to have grown up in Union City when things were still “small” and there was a sense of community.  Everyone knew everyone else.  We were neighbors and everyone helped everyone else get their feet on the ground.  We bought milk and bread from the corner store.  There was a butcher down the block.  We rode bikes to school, played along Boulevard East and stared at the big city across the river with all its promises.

Who can forget Thanksgiving Day and the big game, Emerson and Union Hill?  Thanksgiving has never been quite the same without that game.  Roosevelt Stadium, Hudson County Park, St. Michael’s Monastery, Holy Family Church, Union Hill High School, Emerson, Robert Waters, Washington School, and Bergenline  Avenue, to name a few; all brings a smile to my face.  And, of course, Cuban Day Parade which is still happening and one of the biggest events that now take place and securing its nickname, Havana on the Hudson.

For me, this is home, Union City, New Jersey.  A “little” city sitting overlooking the Hudson filled with history, scenic views, mansions, apartment buildings, alleys, crowded streets, back yard bar-b-ques, and most importantly people  you can’t find anywhere else.

Who is worthy of the Union City Life Time Achievement Award?  Only one entity comes to mind, Union City, itself for cultivating a breed and weaving a multi-cultural fabric unlike any other for centuries.

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2014

Fast & Furious

Fast & Furious

2013 has been a year to go down in the record books; well, technically any year that we survive should go down in the record books.  However, this year has been exceptionally fast and furious.  It seems that the year just started and in the blink of an eye, it's over; boy doesn't that sound like something my grandmother would say!

I wonder how many of our new year resolutions we kept.  You know the ones that we sit down  and write out so carefully, "loose 10 pounds, exercise more, eat healthy, be a better mom,"  blah.. blah.. blah...  I for one stopped making resolutions a long time ago, find them fruitless, and well, let's see how can I phrase this tactfully, stupid.  Yes, they are stupid, and that's as tactful as I get.  Seriously, do we really need a list to remind us to be a better version of ourselves?  Not just a list but a list that we tuck away and forget about within a week and we're back to our old, "bad" habits.

"But, Lucy, there's nothing wrong with setting goals!"  My friend scolded when I voiced my theory on resolutions (among other things).  And, no there isn't anything wrong with setting goals, but goals are just that, a goal.  Now, stay with me because my brain is not necessarily "braining" today.

Goals are set as a final destination.  Something that we want and more importantly, we want to achieve.
Goals are challenges that we must overcome at all costs, not set and give up and dismiss at a whim.  Goals are real and they are achievable but with great effort.  I think sometimes we set unrealistic goals and set ourselves for failure.  Take a look at that resolution list, tell me, honestly, how many things on that list are you really going to do and how many are you just writing for the heck of if.  So why do it?  Why set yourself up for something you know you won't do!

Instead realize that in the earthly calendar (I say earthly because there are no calendars and no time in the celestial world - another topic for another blog), we have 364 days in one year.  That is a lot of days we are given to make a lot of changes!  Even when the year is fast and furious and seems to throw crap at us that we do not want to deal with, we can still do 364 things to be a better version of ourselves!

Let's break it down.  That forever item on the resolution list, "Loose 10 pounds", I know it's on there, so don't tell me it isn't!  Well, if you make one or two changes every day for 364 days, don't you think it'll happen naturally?  Of course!  We just stop.  For whatever the reason, we stop doing what we should, we let our brains take control, and all of a sudden we're back on the road to resolution hell and crashing into flames of defeat.  Okay, maybe I'm a bit dramatic, but you get the picture.

Here's the deal I'm making with you because I'm the first culprit to start and give up, I've realized how much so this year, 2013, which seemed to be like a freaking roller coaster ride from some action film which I didn't want to watch let alone be a part of.  Crazy year, the planets were just all bonkers and we here on planet earth paid the price.

The deal is just pick three things, just three things that you really want to do.  Get yourself an earthly calender, I don't have one, so I'll have to buy one... jeeze... hate those things!   Go ahead, write a list and write it on the earthly calendar, it will be your guide.  Be realistic about it.

For example, I have neglected my writing and my art.  I said I would write everyday and blog even if it's silly and no one reads it, but I haven't.  Why?  Doesn't really matter, there really isn't an excuse.  My art, if you can call it that, I haven't reached that part of my soul in years!  I keep putting it off, again, why?  Doesn't mater.  Therefore, first two things I will do this year is blog weekly; and I've committed to going to an art studio on Saturdays.  There.  And, so, that is how I will tackle my demons. One at a time.

Thing is that life speeds by way too fast and often times it lashes out, knocks us down, and beats us up a little.  That's okay, it's supposed to do that.  We need to get up, shake it off, and strike back.  Sometimes striking back just means accepting, adjusting, and embracing the changes in our life.  Sometimes, we can strike back with a smile and say, "that's it?  That's all you've got?"  But, we cannot quit, we cannot give up, and we certainly cannot accept defeat.  There is no such thing.

We buckle up, raise our hands in the air, and laugh.  We laugh as hard as we can because even though the ride may be fast and furious, we will survive it and be a much better version of ourselves.

Here's to 2014!

Cheers!

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2013

The Comeback Kid

I write because there is a great need that stems from my inner being to  regurgitate what is inside of me on to a blank piece of paper.  It's therapy if you will.  It has never been my intent to publish or post any of my inner thoughts.  

Then one day, someone said, "You should blog."  This after I told her one of my crazy stories. She even said she may publish me and she did in a very short lived on-line magazine, The Savvy Times.  I was shocked that anyone would be interested in reading the insanity that is in my brain let alone publish it.  But, it happened; and, my blog took off.

At the end of last summer, my blog had reached seven thousand plus readers (views).  I was humbled by this and the amount of private messages I'd received.  I am by far the most messed up person I know.  I own it, and to think that anyone would look to anything I said as guidance was mind boggling.  

One day, a friend said, "How much attention do you want anyway?  You have a blog, a fan page, and FB page, how much more do you want?"  I was hurt because this was never my intention.  Contrary to popular belief, I do not like the spotlight.  I am quite content being in the shade, a simple mushroom, under an oak tree.  This has been my quest (another story for another time).  However, the Universe has had another plan for me.  Nonetheless, her words were so piercing and judgmental that it all came down.  The blog and the fan page.  I kept my FB because I have so many beautiful friends I love and I like to keep in touch.  I retrieved into a spiritual cave and decided to do a little soul searching.  Was I really an attention hoarder?  I knew I wasn't.  All I knew was that there were people that read my madness, related to it, and somehow it helped them.  

It has been an intense year, heck, an intense life for that matter.  Spiritual journeys are never easy, often painful, and enlightenment comes in doses, in small shots of "Ah Ha" moments that we must work on daily.  We are all imperfect in many ways, this is okay.  We are all in search of the same things, happiness, peace, and love.  We are more the same than different.  And, those who judge, who point fingers, you seek to destroy our happiness do so out of their own insecurities and fears.  I have come to the realization that the only sole purpose for our existence is our happiness and self acceptance.  We can only work on ourselves, make ourselves happy, and must find inner peace before anything else happens. The journey is ours alone.  We cannot be "fixed" by others, and we do not "fix" others.

Having said that, I write because I find great joy and pleasure in it.   It brings me peace. It is my gift from the Universe.  We all have a special gift and discovery is fabulous.  If you don't like it, I don't care.  If you do, great.  If you can relate that's just awesome.  If you don't. oh well, you must be a much better person with zero issues perhaps you should be writing instead.

The first lesson, as we embark on a new journey and create a brand new path to self-acceptance is do what makes you happy.  Ignore the comments and opinions of those around you.  You can hear the voice in your heart loud and clear.  You know deep down the truth, do not let anyone dim the light that shines from within.  You are a beautiful wonderful soul created in light and with love.  Once you discover the beauty that shines from within your very heart, the fear in others will subside.  Because it will be your light that brings light into their dark hearts.

You may be down, you may be hurting, things may not look bright.  I tell you pick yourself up dust off the insults, the negativity, and the ugliness that surrounds you.  And shine.  Shine as you were meant to shine.  Shine so bright that you will blind the Nay Sayers with the light of your love.  You are the Come Back Kid, nothing can bring you down ever again.

Back to the Future

I don’t like looking back for fear that I’ll turn into a pillar of salt, but recently, I realized that there is a difference between looking back and living in the past.  Looking back into our past and even a trip back there may just be what we need to sort out our present and move towards the future.

Therefore, I took a trip way back into my past and had to visit and come face to face with some difficult choices I had made that were holding me back in my present.

First of all let me say how important atonement is.  We must let go of any resentment that we are holding on to.  We must say it’s okay, I screwed up, it was my choice, my mess up and this person had nothing to do with it; and move on.  I’ll spare you the details of my journey for fear that I’ll bore you to death.  However, I did discover that I had one big regret; only, one which is not too bad- College.  I never went to college because, well, it doesn’t matter why, I didn’t.  And, I regret this deeply.

I’ve battled with the thought of going back to school not thinking I could because I was too old and have put it off time and time again.  But, then the universe decided for me and as I searched for work every single door not only closed, but was being slammed in my face.  Why?  Not because I didn’t have experience or wasn’t capable or smart but because I didn’t have the one thing I had left undone.  A degree. 

It took every bit of energy I had, I cried feeling useless, but then once my pity party was over, I did what I had to do and enrolled back in college.  I strolled into campus with my head held high and faced my one demon head on, fear of being rejected.

Turns out, I haven’t changed much at all.  As I strolled through campus from building to building, humbled beyond belief, facing one challenge after another; I realized I was still the same girl I was so many years ago.  I still loved the same things, art and literature.  Still dreaded Math, why, I don’t know, just do.  The book store and library were still my favorite of places.  I’m still a lip gloss, jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers kind-a-girl.  Simple and uncomplicated.

I’m still  an overachiever not happy at all and frowned when my transcripts were pulled up by my advisor and he beamed, “You have a 3.58 GPA!”  “That sucks.”  I said.  He laughed, “We can get you into some really great programs.  That’s a great GPA.”   “It’s not a 4.0.”  I said.  He rolled his eyes.

I’m still drawn to people.  Love them, always have, always will.  Drawn to helping where ever I can, and I still don’t care about money (go figure).  I still have the same belief system and I still want the same things.  I’m me.  I found me as I was then and as I am now.  For a second the world I knew then became the world I know now and it was almost as if time had stood still.  Years of lies and covering up melting away.

So, at a time when I thought I would be kicking back and semi-retired, I’m going back to college.  I’m starting over from scratch.  I have to say this will be the ride of my life, and I plan to do it no matter how difficult, no matter how challenging, no matter how exhausting.  I’m going to smile and go back to the future.

I ask you, what dreams have you buried in your past?  What in your past is holding you back from your future?

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2012

Tic Toc

Einstein believed that we lived in parallel worlds and that the past, the present, and the future all happened simultaneously.   Quantum physics, if you will.  Complex?  Not really, but I won’t bore you with what I find to be a fascinating philosophy on the theory of time. 

However, what if?  What if our worlds did co-exist and the essence of time was but an illusion?  What if we could and did have the power to bring the past into our present recreating our future?  Okay, I’m getting a little deep, but what if?

Not too long ago, I sat having cocktails with some girlfriends.  All of us having experienced broken romances, hearts, and left wondering was there really a “Mr. Right”?  I asked a question because anyone that knows me knows this is what I do, ask questions.  “What if I missed him?”  I asked.  “Missed who?”  “Mr. Right.  What if I was too busy with lip gloss, high heel shoes, and fixing my big hair that I missed him.”  There was some silence.  “I mean destiny says that we meet the man we’re destined to spend the rest of our lives with early in our journey.  What if I missed him?  What if I never get a second chance?  What then?”

Okay that was more than one question, but they got the point.  And, after throwing that out there like a giant meteor from the cruel and powerful all mighty Destiny, we had to have another drink because, well, that’s what we do.

But, how many times have we wanted “do overs”?  How many times have we secretly wished for the chance to do it all over again?  What if we missed something, someone because we were too caught up in insignificant details that matter very little at the time.  And, what if that secret wish from the depth of our hearts came true, and we were given that chance?   Destiny suddenly brought us face to face with our past in the present and we knew now what we couldn’t see then?

That night as I drove home, I thought… yes, yes, I know, I think too much; but, it was a quiet thought that came from my heart and not my noisy brain.  And, I sent out that thought to the universe, “If I missed him, do you think I can have a second chance?  Is it possible that our paths can cross one more time?  And, please don’t let me be preoccupied with lip gloss and shoes!”

It so happened, the Universe was paying attention that night even though I didn’t realize it. And, not too long after that on a day after the Christmas holidays while I was preoccupied and frustrated with the size of my big fat Cuban butt that I was trying to squeeze into my skinny jeans, there it was.  My past, “You are too hard on yourself.”  He said.  “You look great.”

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2012

                                                                                                                                                                 

A Reason; A Season; A Lifetime

What is our purpose in life?  We all ask this question.  We get so involved in finding out the answer, thinking about it, and trying to make sense of it that we forget to live.  We get so caught up in “the purpose” that we miss out on the journey; the journey that is life.  It is as if we were on a beautiful train ride with the most majestic of sceneries, but the shades of our window are down.  We missed the ride because we were so concerned on the destination.

We have but one purpose and that is to live.  We wake up, we breathe, we smile, and we live.  We experience all that there is one second at a time because that is all that we have.  We are all connected to one another, and we drift in and out of each other’s lives as we should, when we should, and as planned.  Every single soul we come in contact with has a meaning in our lives.  They will be with us for a reason, for a season, or a lifetime. They enter our lives with a lesson and vice-a-versa.

The soul at the checkout counter; the waitress; the stranger in the elevator; the beggar on the corner; the neighbor you just wave at; your co-worker.  These people all have a reason why they come into our lives and they all bring a message, it is up to us to receive it.  Or, we may be the one carrying the message and we may not even know it.  These people stay in our lives for a very short period of time, they come, they teach, and they leave, and we move on.  There is a reason.

The souls that stay with us for a season are probably the most challenging for us to let go of.  A friend; a lover; a teacher; a neighbor that we sit and chat with, these are relationships that were meant to last a season.  We teach one another the lessons that we must in order for us to move on to the next stepping stone on our journey.  These souls leave on their own accord, we leave, or sometimes they pass away.  At times, these may be difficult relationships.  We must remember, we have the most to learn from those that hurt us most. We must learn to let go of these relationships otherwise we cannot grow, we cannot move forward on our journey.  The separation is painful at times, a “broken” marriage, a long term relationship with a significant other, a relative is difficult to let go of.  However, we must once the season is over and the lessons have been learned.  We were not meant to stay together longer than a season, let go.

A lifetime, we’ll recognize these souls because they will be with us until the end of our journey or theirs.  Our parents, siblings, and children; regardless of the difficulties we encounter, we are there to carry one another through the whole journey.  We meet these souls early on in our lives, a friend that we have known since childhood or met in our early years.  They may fade in and out of our lives, we may not see each our often, or speak daily, but we are there throughout.  These souls were meant to be in our lives for a lifetime, but sometimes, we must walk separate paths until the universe brings us together once more.  We must learn and grow before we can continue the journey together, but they are there with us because once we have met, the bond will be made for a lifetime.

Every soul is an answer to a prayer whether ours or theirs.  We need to let go of the pain, the guilt, and the anger and move on.  We need to learn to shift through all the petty details of life, to stop thinking of our purpose, and just live.  As we live, we will love, and as we love it becomes evident that this journey is the most beautiful trip we will ever be on.  

Don’t miss out on living worried about life.

Cheers, my friend.

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2012

It's the thought that counts

I had a recent conversation with a friend regarding gifting.  Gifting at Valentine’s Day to be more specific.  He was confused as to what to get a girl someone he hadn’t been dating for too long, he liked her, but was afraid of sending the “wrong” message.  He then explained to me how much men dreaded buying a gift for a woman for fear that it may not be enough, or too much, not spending enough, or spending too much, and what would the message be?  “It just messes things up.”  He said.  “Besides, she says she really doesn’t want anything.”

I was a little taken back by this, I didn’t know men felt this way.  Maybe they don’t and this was just an isolated case, somehow, I don’t think so.  I couldn’t help and wonder, “when did buying a gift for a person become such a traumatic thing?”

I thought back at my very first boyfriend.  Granted, we were teenagers, but that kid did the single most romantic thing any man has ever done.  Every month on the anniversary of the day he asked me out, he would give me a single red rose.  “So, you never forget.”  He’d say, and I haven’t, December 18^th.  He did that every month for close to two years.  To this day, I remember it with great fondness.  What did it cost him?  Nothing, really.  It was a beautiful  thought.  And, what did it mean?  It meant, he cared enough to put a little thought into me.

Bottom line, a gift doesn’t have to be expensive or big or extravagant.  It really doesn’t mean anything more than a caring thought.  Someone took the time to think of you and get a little something just for you because they cared.  It’s that simple.  There is no hidden message, there are no hidden expectations, it’s a simple thought.

And, men, just for the record, even if we say that we really don’t want anything, we do.  We do because it’s a token that comes from the heart of a person we care about and that means the world to a woman.

Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2012