What can I say, but what a year! It's been 365 days, well not quite yet, of madness. I feel as though I've been caught in some sort of stampede of wild crazy horses. I'm exhausted.
It's been a year of trials, of major tests. The universe has challenged us like never before with an avalanche of emotions and trials. I for one had to do some major soul searching, I've been humbled beyond belief; and in the process I've grown much.
I've had to let go of so much, strip down to the bare essentials. I traveled back in time and revisited a place that I longed to be at, and realized that I could never relive the past. As much as I wanted to redo what had been done, as much as I tried to reconnect to what was, I realized that my life had changed. I was a new version of me living in a different place and time from what was.
I think we all reach a point in our lives when we look back and wonder, "what if"? Not all take a leap back to try and get an answer. I did. In doing so, I discovered that there is no "what if" because the choices made were the ones that needed to be made. The path was set and the journey inevitable. I am where I am because it's where I need to be, now.
It was a journey worth making and essential. Questions were answered, friendships solidified, loose ends tied or completely severed. I came to terms with my life "as is". I've embraced where I am with all my heart and came one step closer to me.
Sometimes, we need take these journeys. Revisit ourselves at a different point in life and face the questions that we once turned from. Most importantly, we must come to be at peace with who we were, and embrace who we are. It is not an easy journey, it never is. However, it is a must.
I survived the wild stampede of the Year of the Horse. Although, emotionally exhausted, I know that living for the moment is all that we were meant to do.
Cheers to 2014 and looking forward to a fabulous 2015!
Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2014
Showing posts with label Self Discovery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self Discovery. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Friday, June 20, 2014
Bloom where you're planted
Bloom where your planted and the
universe will take care of repotting you when you're ready not when
you want.
I spent the first few years of my young
life living in a room with my father, mother, and brother. One room
in a house where my grandmother and great grandmother also had a
room. Later we lived in an apartment. I recently looked up the
square footage out of curiosity, 494 square feet. Our family lived
in a spacious one-bedroom apartment of 494 square feet! I thought as
a child it was a mansion, and it was.
We have to realize that we are exactly
where we need to be at exactly the moment we need to be there. The
universe is unbelievably powerful, we are just great doubters and
manipulators of our own destiny. We decide we want something
and we get impatient, we move, shift, and manipulate what we must to
make it happen. Instead what we should be doing is allowing the
universe to work for us naturally.
Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying
that being ambitious and going for what you want is a bad thing. I'm
just saying that what we want and what we need are two very different
things. We may want a big house, a fancy car, lots of great designer
clothes. We may want vacations after vacations, and throw money
around just because. And, there's nothing wrong with any of those
things, but those things are not what we are made of. They may not
be what we need.
All of us wonders at some point or
another, “What is my purpose? Why am I here?”
We think that we are defined by the things we have. If we are
successful, if we drive a fancy car, we live in a big house, etc.
etc., then we have found our purpose. But that is not the case.
None of those things define us or our purpose. Instead, that endless
quest for something bigger and better only bring restlessness and
disappointment to our hearts. Because we simply cannot be satisfied
and must be always looking for something more.
Our
purpose, is simple, happiness. And, happiness comes from within, it
is not where we live, what we drive, or what we own. Those things do
not define our happiness. It just comes from inside our very soul
and it will be the only thing that we take with us when we continue
our spiritual journey.
Today,
look around and take great joy in where the universe has planted you
and be grateful regardless of our circumstances. Be grateful and
bloom! When you have bloomed and outgrown you beautiful flower pot,
the Universe will take care of the rest.
Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2014
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Time and Time Again
I’ve written about time, time and time again. I believe that
time is man-made and not a measurement of the universe, I too get caught up in
the trivial ticking of the clock.
I won’t bore you with the specifics of the theory of
relativity but here’s the foundation. Einstein believed in multiple
worlds. And, I agree!! Naturally! He was way ahead of his time,
oddly, but he proved Newton wrong who’s theory was that time was absolute. Time
is relative as Einstein proved.
The thing is that if we clear our minds of the clutter that
we have created, if we toss away all of the time constraints imposed by
society, we would be eternally free. Time
is not linear, it does not end and begin anew; it continues on and on, just in
different forms and simultaneously. Our past, present, and
future all happen at once. Weird concept...not really. It makes perfect sense.
We do
not and cannot age, our souls are ageless.
The change we see in the mirror is what our minds have created due to
the constraints of the society we live in.
Okay, let’s break this down because I know I’m giving you a
headache right about now. Let me give
you a proven fact and example of multiple worlds and time. How many times have you thought of someone in
your past, that you hadn’t spoken to or seen in years and at that precise moment
of your thought, you bump into them or they call or someone brings them
up? It’s happened to all of us and that
is because the past is happening right now. Today is the future! Confused?
Well, of course because we have been trained to set limits and not open
our minds to the greatness of the universe.
Humans have isolated time to its ultimate stressful form;
there are years, months, weeks, days; and as if that isn’t enough, hours,
minutes, and seconds. We live our lives
with a giant stop watch in our brains…TIC-TOC… TIC-TOC. We scurry around day in and day out, hurry,
hurry…do more, you didn’t do enough…. TIC-TOC… TIC-TOC. Another day, another week, oh my God! Another
year and what have we accomplished…. TIC- TOC… TIC… TOC!!! We go to bed exhausted and we wake up at the
sound of a deafening alarm yelling….HURRY!!! TIC!! TOC!!! We drive like maniacs constantly looking at
our watches… TIC-TOC!!! Unitl….
BOOM!!! We’re done!! Time’s up!!!
It’s insane, this world we’ve created measured in time. Einstein’s theory is the only thing that does
make sense! There is no existence of
time. Time is eternal as created by the
universe. Today is the future, today is
the past, and today is the present; all wrapped up in one beautiful life that
we need to just simply live without a ticking time bomb. We need to remember what made us smile at the
age of five because it will probably warm our hearts today. And, as this memory comes to life, it IS
happening, we are five again and we glow from the inside out. Memories are not dead, they are real and
exist, they are happening right now. We
just need to set our minds free and get rid of all the earthly things that tie
us down.
What would you do if you had all the time in the world? You do, so do it!
Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2014
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Forgive but Never Forget - it's okay
Forgiveness is one of the most difficult teachings of any
faith and the cornerstone of all.
Letting go of the anger and the pain of betrayal is so incredibly
difficult. We want to strike back, hurt
as much, as deeply, cause as much anguish, and this is isn’t enough; we not
only want all of this but we want to witness and relish the pain we cause
because it was done to us. An eye for an
eye, if you will.
Yet, none of this brings peace to our souls much less heal
our hearts. I don’t think we can ever
get over the pain of betrayal especially at the hands of someone we care
about. The ugliness is difficult to
understand.
However, it must
happen. We must forgive even the greatest
of offenders. There is no other way to
heal.
It is human nature to strike back, to hurt someone who has
hurt us, but we must reach deep within our souls and find the inner strength to
simply walk away. Any mortal can strike back but few have the heart to simply
forgive.
Forgiveness does not mean, we forget; nor does it mean we
condone. Things may never be the same,
you may never see that person again or speak to them and this is okay. It means you say, “I forgive you for what you’ve
done to me.” And that’s it. By saying and meaning that, you start the
healing for you. You put that person and
the situation in the powerful hands of the Universe. You let go and move on. This may take a while, it does not happen
overnight, but it must happen.
For me, I retrieve. I
retrieve deep into the depth of my soul and I find a quiet spot. One that no one can enter, one that is just
for me, and there in silence. I do what
I must. Sometimes, I cry. Sometimes, I scream. Often times, I curse. Sometimes, I pray. Other times, I write or paint or draw. Sometimes, I walk. Sometimes, I eat or not or have wine and then
sleep. Sometimes, I read. Lots of times I laugh, I dance, and I
sit. I do not revisit the past., only on TBT and only when it's good.
Then one day, it’s gone, the anger and
the hate replaced by nothing. You feel
nothing for that person. And, someone
wants to drag you in again into the darkness that is vengeance, and you smile, and
say, “Nah, it’s okay. It was no big
deal.” They think you are weak or stupid for
not taking the opportunity to strike back.
But, you are not at all. You are strong
enough to let go, and wise enough to move on.
And, the wound is healed, a small scar remains, but that is okay. It helps us remember the pain of betrayal and
the peace that comes from moving on.
Today, the sky seems to be a different shade of blue, a blue we have never seen before. We smile
because no one can break our spirit.
Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2014
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Winter of the Heart
Winter seems so unnecessary at times. The temperature drops. The sun hibernates. The cold seeps in and the brutal wind seems to cut right into our bones. We try to find the warmest of sweaters, socks, and blankets.
Everything dies in winter. The trees go bare; the skies are gray; and, the lakes freeze. There is an unusual silence that comes with the whisper of the cold; and we find comfort within our homes. We cook hearty meals, cuddles up on the couch, and smile at a cup of hot cocoa with whip cream, of course. The simple pleasures of this complicated life.
God works his winter magic on our hearts as well. A necessary freeze of the heart so that it can retreat to the soul and find its way back to spring. God needs our hearts to be whole and in sync with His plan not ours. We get so caught up in all the distractions that we forget what the heart is truly for. We forget that we have a major role in God’s plan and that our sole reason for existence is to fulfill His plan not ours.
Hence, a winter of the heart where everything stops within us slowing down the world around us. It’s so cold and our hearts barely beats. We hide under thick blankets, our bodies soar and tire, our head pounding, and when we thought nothing else can go wrong, we’re burning up, and all we can do is shut our eyes and listen. And, there in the silence, our faith is tested.
We need winter for without winter there is no promise of spring and rebirth. Without the bitter cold, we cannot appreciate the warmth of the sun. Without the frozen lakes, we cannot enjoy the feel of the ocean waves. Without a retreat of the heart, our souls cannot find comfort in this world.
It is when all goes dark and we think we’re blind that the light is brightest. We just need to stop, have a warm cup of hot chocolate for the soul, and believe.
Everything dies in winter. The trees go bare; the skies are gray; and, the lakes freeze. There is an unusual silence that comes with the whisper of the cold; and we find comfort within our homes. We cook hearty meals, cuddles up on the couch, and smile at a cup of hot cocoa with whip cream, of course. The simple pleasures of this complicated life.
God works his winter magic on our hearts as well. A necessary freeze of the heart so that it can retreat to the soul and find its way back to spring. God needs our hearts to be whole and in sync with His plan not ours. We get so caught up in all the distractions that we forget what the heart is truly for. We forget that we have a major role in God’s plan and that our sole reason for existence is to fulfill His plan not ours.
Hence, a winter of the heart where everything stops within us slowing down the world around us. It’s so cold and our hearts barely beats. We hide under thick blankets, our bodies soar and tire, our head pounding, and when we thought nothing else can go wrong, we’re burning up, and all we can do is shut our eyes and listen. And, there in the silence, our faith is tested.
We need winter for without winter there is no promise of spring and rebirth. Without the bitter cold, we cannot appreciate the warmth of the sun. Without the frozen lakes, we cannot enjoy the feel of the ocean waves. Without a retreat of the heart, our souls cannot find comfort in this world.
It is when all goes dark and we think we’re blind that the light is brightest. We just need to stop, have a warm cup of hot chocolate for the soul, and believe.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Poker Face
We are dealt a hand; we study it; and we do the best we can to play it. Time and time again, we fold. We smirk at the hand we’re dealt. We sigh in disbelief. And, at times, we put all we’ve got into the pot only to walk away empty handed leaving all that we are on the table.
Frustrated, we wonder if we’re ever going to be able to reap the rewards. How many more hands do we need to play? Is it worth it? Should we stop and just quit the game altogether?
Exhausted, from losing time and time again, we wonder why some take the pot so easily while we struggle endlessly.
Somehow, we find the courage to jump right back in the game and praying that this will be our hand. The one we’ve been waiting for. The one that will get us to that pot that we’ve been dreaming of for so long. But, our chip count is low, we’ve got very little left to give and what if we give all we have yet again only to walk away with nothing one more time.
We sit still. We stare at our hand knowing that it may never ever be this good again. Knowing that this is the winning hand, we hesitate. Do we have the guts to bet it all or will we fold? Throwing it all in the pot with nothing left, we forge on in the game of life.
Frustrated, we wonder if we’re ever going to be able to reap the rewards. How many more hands do we need to play? Is it worth it? Should we stop and just quit the game altogether?
Exhausted, from losing time and time again, we wonder why some take the pot so easily while we struggle endlessly.
Somehow, we find the courage to jump right back in the game and praying that this will be our hand. The one we’ve been waiting for. The one that will get us to that pot that we’ve been dreaming of for so long. But, our chip count is low, we’ve got very little left to give and what if we give all we have yet again only to walk away with nothing one more time.
We sit still. We stare at our hand knowing that it may never ever be this good again. Knowing that this is the winning hand, we hesitate. Do we have the guts to bet it all or will we fold? Throwing it all in the pot with nothing left, we forge on in the game of life.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
The Sound of Silence
There is something to be said for silence. So much to be heard in the depths of the sound waves that flow through the vastness that is. The pleasure of listening to the universe and the message that it tries to convey on a daily basis; minute by minute; with every second that passes by.
Problem is that we create a world of noise around us. We create havoc and clutter. We create thunderous noise that impedes us from hearing what is being gently whispered. We are blind to the colors of the sunrise; the turning of the leaves; the blues of the ocean. We are deaf to the sound of the waves; the morning robin’s melody; the whisper of the wind.
How simple life would be without the clutter that we bring to the universe. The constant bickering and arguing; the pride; the vanity; and, the greed. How fabulous if every second would be treasured as if it were our last. If we loved without conviction. If we gave without expectations. If we listened to the sound of silence.
For all we have for certain is this second. All we are guaranteed is this moment. All we really need is now. If we would shed all the false layers created by the ego and allowed our soul to shine through, we would see the reflection of the universe. And, it would all make perfect sense. Nothing for us to do but be.
Problem is that we create a world of noise around us. We create havoc and clutter. We create thunderous noise that impedes us from hearing what is being gently whispered. We are blind to the colors of the sunrise; the turning of the leaves; the blues of the ocean. We are deaf to the sound of the waves; the morning robin’s melody; the whisper of the wind.
How simple life would be without the clutter that we bring to the universe. The constant bickering and arguing; the pride; the vanity; and, the greed. How fabulous if every second would be treasured as if it were our last. If we loved without conviction. If we gave without expectations. If we listened to the sound of silence.
For all we have for certain is this second. All we are guaranteed is this moment. All we really need is now. If we would shed all the false layers created by the ego and allowed our soul to shine through, we would see the reflection of the universe. And, it would all make perfect sense. Nothing for us to do but be.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Sugar & Spice
The lady, an extinct species. A forgotten breed, left to parish among the so called trivial things of the past. Seems that the progressive movement has lead us into a new dark age for today’s woman.
Forgotten are the days of beautiful love letters, poems, champagne, roses, and lyrics born from the elegance of a lady. Left in the wallows of the past is the old-fashion lady who batted her eyes and even blushed when a man approached her. We traded in romance for sex.
Today’s woman in the quest for independence and equality is a washed down version of a true lady. Elegance, taste, décor, and the simple things that set women aside from the mundane has been tossed aside and exchanged for nothing more than a loud, cheap version of what was.
No need to advertise, a quiet whisper can be just as effective. No need to scream it out, a soft smile can say as much. Sometimes silence is louder than words. Women are by far the most beautiful creature created in the universe. Why do we not value ourselves for the precious gems that we are?
Call me stuffy, old-fashioned, ridiculous, and any other adjective you’d like to throw in there, but this is one girl that still believes in sugar and spice and everything nice.
Forgotten are the days of beautiful love letters, poems, champagne, roses, and lyrics born from the elegance of a lady. Left in the wallows of the past is the old-fashion lady who batted her eyes and even blushed when a man approached her. We traded in romance for sex.
Today’s woman in the quest for independence and equality is a washed down version of a true lady. Elegance, taste, décor, and the simple things that set women aside from the mundane has been tossed aside and exchanged for nothing more than a loud, cheap version of what was.
No need to advertise, a quiet whisper can be just as effective. No need to scream it out, a soft smile can say as much. Sometimes silence is louder than words. Women are by far the most beautiful creature created in the universe. Why do we not value ourselves for the precious gems that we are?
Call me stuffy, old-fashioned, ridiculous, and any other adjective you’d like to throw in there, but this is one girl that still believes in sugar and spice and everything nice.
Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2009
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Through the Looking Glass
I stood before the mirror this morning, and I wondered what was on the other side. More specifically, who? Did I even know that person staring at me, and could I cross over into her world? Maybe it was a better world? Maybe she had answers to some of my questions? She must, she looked familiar. Did she know why nothing had turned out as “planned”. Surely, she would know. And, so, I stepped through the looking glass.
As I did so, everything was in reverse. It was as if I was looking at an “old fashion” negative of a picture. Everything was on the opposite side. Up was down. Left was right. Black was white. The colors did not correspond. The sky was not blue, but purple. The oceans were soft and calm; and the moon was within reach. I walked through her world, and I found comfort in the peace that she showed me. As we sat on a star, we shared thoughts.
She did not question the choices made, they were all good, they were all necessary. She did not torture herself with guilt about how she had loved. She did not expect much from those around her. She had no disappointment about how she raised her children because they were not “hers”, they belonged to the world. She was grateful for being a vessel to bring them forth. She understood happiness, it stems from within. She took time to point out the “things” around her, noting that they were not mere “things” but details within a beautiful painting. There was so much comfort in her being. Her smile was bright, and as I stared at her, I knew everything would be alright.
As I stepped in front of the mirror again ready to journey back; somehow, I did not recognize who I was at all. I wondered if I wanted to journey back into my “old” world. The world through the looking glass seemed so much more beautiful. Perfect.
I looked at the woman again, she was young, carefree, and childlike. I know I've seen her before. I hesitated, and asked a simple question, “Can I stay?” She smiled. “You've never left. You just need to shed the layers of falseness created by the world you live in and not the world you were born into.”
As I did so, everything was in reverse. It was as if I was looking at an “old fashion” negative of a picture. Everything was on the opposite side. Up was down. Left was right. Black was white. The colors did not correspond. The sky was not blue, but purple. The oceans were soft and calm; and the moon was within reach. I walked through her world, and I found comfort in the peace that she showed me. As we sat on a star, we shared thoughts.
She did not question the choices made, they were all good, they were all necessary. She did not torture herself with guilt about how she had loved. She did not expect much from those around her. She had no disappointment about how she raised her children because they were not “hers”, they belonged to the world. She was grateful for being a vessel to bring them forth. She understood happiness, it stems from within. She took time to point out the “things” around her, noting that they were not mere “things” but details within a beautiful painting. There was so much comfort in her being. Her smile was bright, and as I stared at her, I knew everything would be alright.
As I stepped in front of the mirror again ready to journey back; somehow, I did not recognize who I was at all. I wondered if I wanted to journey back into my “old” world. The world through the looking glass seemed so much more beautiful. Perfect.
I looked at the woman again, she was young, carefree, and childlike. I know I've seen her before. I hesitated, and asked a simple question, “Can I stay?” She smiled. “You've never left. You just need to shed the layers of falseness created by the world you live in and not the world you were born into.”
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Back to the Future
It's funny how life works. I am one who believes that looking back at your past gets you little. It really doesn't do much to wallow in the past for how can you move forward, if you are stuck in the past.
However, this weekend has thrown me a huge curve ball, and if I learned anything from sitting at dozens upon dozens of my boys baseball games, it's how to hit a curve. You sit back, wait, and swing.
I am sitting, as we speak, and looking back into my past to find my future. I fear that I may turn into a pillar of salt; or melt away into a puddle of regrets; or perhaps, I may just simply find the answers to my destiny burried in the past.
Either way, I must head out on an excavation of sort. I must dig deep and search far into the past to move forward in my life. I'm prepared for this journey of the heart.
I'm excited for what will I find on this quest Back to the Future?
How about you? What dreams have you burried deep in your heart that need to be rescued?
However, this weekend has thrown me a huge curve ball, and if I learned anything from sitting at dozens upon dozens of my boys baseball games, it's how to hit a curve. You sit back, wait, and swing.
I am sitting, as we speak, and looking back into my past to find my future. I fear that I may turn into a pillar of salt; or melt away into a puddle of regrets; or perhaps, I may just simply find the answers to my destiny burried in the past.
Either way, I must head out on an excavation of sort. I must dig deep and search far into the past to move forward in my life. I'm prepared for this journey of the heart.
I'm excited for what will I find on this quest Back to the Future?
How about you? What dreams have you burried deep in your heart that need to be rescued?
Saturday, August 22, 2009
The 7th Inning Stretch
It's the 7th inning stretch. It's been a heck of a game. Action everywhere. Stolen bases, hits, runs, and errors. Ah, yes, those nasty errors that leave you completely stunned and in dismay. Errors really suck, everyone knows they cost the game. You can't go back and fix them, what's done is done.
Well, that's the mid-life "crisis" in a nutshell. Now, I really dislike that term "mid-life crisis". I call it the 7th inning stretch. It's when we realize we are half-way done with this game called life, and we can't help but come to that realization. It's not a crisis, it's an awakening. We are stunned and completely dismayed at the "errors" and the things we thought we would get done and haven't. I am not sure about anyone else, but nothing has turned out as planned. Life happens when you are making plans and usually knocks us on our asses in the process.
So, here we are faced with the fact that we're not twenty anymore but not wanting to be, well, I won't mention a number; we all know our own number. Kids move out, marriages fall apart. Men go crazy looking for twenty-year old Blond Barbie's and buy fast cars to get the twenty year old Blond Barbie's. Women get botox up the yin yang making them look like crazy-ass blow fishes. It's a mad dash to discover the fountain of youth, turn back the hands of time, and cram everything you haven't done in the last twenty years into the next three.
Of course, then you have those few select people that just cannot cope with the fact that they are older and are determined to live in the past. It's not just about reminiscing, we all do that. It's about actually being stuck in the past. It's nuts. Snap out of it!
This is a restless time for us in our lives. Our generation is a unique generation. Our parents were not faced with the challenges that we are faced with. They got married, raised a family, got old together, and "The End." Our generation does not have a game plan. We have had to figure it out as we go, and we're terrified. We cling to that which we think will bring us back to who we were.
Bottom line is that we've got all the time in the world. We are exactly where we need to be. We need to stop questioning the "whys" and "why nots"; dust ourselves off, and get right back in the game. Not living in the past, but embracing the present. Knowing that we have come a long way and accomplished much. I don't know about anyone else, but I've learned how to play a curve ball. I sit back, wait patiently, and swing. Believe me, it's not too late to hit a home run.
Lucy Tamajon
Writer
Well, that's the mid-life "crisis" in a nutshell. Now, I really dislike that term "mid-life crisis". I call it the 7th inning stretch. It's when we realize we are half-way done with this game called life, and we can't help but come to that realization. It's not a crisis, it's an awakening. We are stunned and completely dismayed at the "errors" and the things we thought we would get done and haven't. I am not sure about anyone else, but nothing has turned out as planned. Life happens when you are making plans and usually knocks us on our asses in the process.
So, here we are faced with the fact that we're not twenty anymore but not wanting to be, well, I won't mention a number; we all know our own number. Kids move out, marriages fall apart. Men go crazy looking for twenty-year old Blond Barbie's and buy fast cars to get the twenty year old Blond Barbie's. Women get botox up the yin yang making them look like crazy-ass blow fishes. It's a mad dash to discover the fountain of youth, turn back the hands of time, and cram everything you haven't done in the last twenty years into the next three.
Of course, then you have those few select people that just cannot cope with the fact that they are older and are determined to live in the past. It's not just about reminiscing, we all do that. It's about actually being stuck in the past. It's nuts. Snap out of it!
This is a restless time for us in our lives. Our generation is a unique generation. Our parents were not faced with the challenges that we are faced with. They got married, raised a family, got old together, and "The End." Our generation does not have a game plan. We have had to figure it out as we go, and we're terrified. We cling to that which we think will bring us back to who we were.
Bottom line is that we've got all the time in the world. We are exactly where we need to be. We need to stop questioning the "whys" and "why nots"; dust ourselves off, and get right back in the game. Not living in the past, but embracing the present. Knowing that we have come a long way and accomplished much. I don't know about anyone else, but I've learned how to play a curve ball. I sit back, wait patiently, and swing. Believe me, it's not too late to hit a home run.
Lucy Tamajon
Writer
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Only a Carry-On is Needed
I recently traveled and like most travelers, I pack a bag. Of course, we do. We need to get away, "detach" ourselves from the routine, leave the world behind, but we must take with us everything we own. I have to admit, I'm a horrible packer. I wait to the last minute and stuff, stuff, stuff my bag.
Once at my destination, I don't use have the stuff I brought. It just sits there in the suitcase a reminder of what I wanted to leave behind in the first place.
When we travel through this incredible journey of life, we seem to do the same thing. We not only carry baggage with us, the load is so heavy we drag baggage with us. We stop often and unpack all our baggage, look at it, and continue to take it with us. We really do not need any of it, but yet, we choose to keep the load heavy, open it up, look at, talk about it, re-pack it, and continue with the heavy load.
It is impossible to enjoy our stay with all this baggage. Impossible. Cannot be done. Today, we need to go through our suitcase of life and do some major unpacking. We will unpack, anger, resentment, fear, neglect, worries, anticipation. You name it. We will unpack all of the past as needed. However, we will not repack any of it. We do not need envy, jealousy, and the dreaded ego. Get rid of it all and dump it. Lighten your load.
Who the heck wants to go through this beautiful life with all that crap. The past is gone. Done. Does not exist. It is an illusion. It is not real. Forgive and move on. We make it real when we continue to bring it up. When we continue to carry it with us. This is a difficult task, some loads are heavy, and we've had them for a long, long time. They've become a part of us. But, it must be done.
I'm tossing out my big suitcase and getting a small, small carry-on. And, the next time I travel when the lovely attendant asks me, "Baggage to check in?" I will flash my big smile and say, "Nope, just a carry on and it's a Gucci."
Lucy Tamajon
Writer
Monday, August 10, 2009
Free to Love
We are trapped within a prison fabricated by the mind not realizing that the soul has been free to love. You can only experience true love when you set the soul free; yours and theirs. Souls are not meant to be confined by expectations and boundaries set in the material world. Set them free and love beyond belief will be yours.
Have absolutely no expectations of the person you are with. Just live the moment for what it is. Accept all that is given to you at this moment; this minute without questions because that is all that is real. Cease questions; questions are mere obstacles; live the questions because the answers will come in time.
We cannot own a person, they do not belong to us. We cannot set expectations or rules. Souls are part of the universe, they are not ours. Souls are the sunset and the sunrise; the ocean and the sand; the mountains and valleys. They are the air that we breath; the roses that bloom in summer; the smile of a child. Souls are eternal, they are not meant to be confined.
Say to the person you love, "you are free". Free to be what you want to be. Free to do what you want to do. Free to love as you want to love and set them free. Let them be. In doing so, you set yourself free. You will achieve the most incredible peace within that you have ever experienced.
If this soul is meant for you, they will give all that they are to you. Willingly without your demands, without rules, without judgment. They will return on their own to you to find comfort in your heart, to share your existence.
They will look into your eyes and right to your heart. Words will not be necessary. Not one word will be spoken. Time will stand still and be non-existing. The world will cease and you will melt into one another. As if notes in a beautiful symphony composed at the Master's hand without your understanding, you will come together in perfect harmony. You will be free to love through the ages and for all eternity.
Lucy Tamajon
Writer
this is the original writing of the author, Lucy Tamajon, it cannot be copied, distributed or published without her consent or authorization. <3
Friday, August 7, 2009
For Whom the Bells Toll
The life of a poet is probably the most difficult of all. You may think I am crazy, well, I am but that is not the point I am trying to make. Poetry is almost never understood. People just don't get it. It is confusing, upsetting, and just too coagulated to comprehend for most.
The poet's job is to describe emotions through words in the simplest of forms. We give feelings to objects that normally cannot feel. Trees bleed, ocean's roar, bird's cry. Often times the reader just does not understand.
Most of my poetry is dark. I rarely share it, and I understand why I don't. When I write poetry, I tap into a very dark and hidden place within me. It is almost as if it is not me at all. I transform into what I try to write about. I know that this sounds insane, perhaps, it is.
I had a professor once pull the most deepest of emotions from me through an assignment. The lesson was not to just write a poem, but become the object in the poem. "I don't think I can." He looked at me, "if anyone can. You can." And, I learned to transport myself out of my body to another place. I became the person in the poem, the tree, the river, the sky. I closed my eyes and learned to feel emotions and relate the feelings into words of that object. I remember writing about piano keys. He was impressed, "this is exactly what a piano's key would feel like if it could feel."
I keep my poetry hidden deep, deep, deep within my soul because it opens a window that few can relate to. I can now understand completely why some of the great literary minds have retrieved and lived confined within their own minds. The more we give of ourselves through our writing, the more vulnerable we become, and the less understood.
Hemingway was an alcoholic, ultimately committed suicide. Virginia Wolf filled her pockets with coins and walked into the ocean. Sylvia Plath put her head into an oven could not handle rejection. Yet, she earned a Pulitzer Prize for her dark and disturbing poetry. Elizabeth Browning was prescribed opium for her "affliction". Even the great master, Shakespeare was laughed at and struggled as an artist and died thinking he was a failure.
Emily Dickinson was said to be an anti-social and secluded herself. She died a premature death diagnosed by doctors as a cause of stress and depression. Upon her death, her sister instructed all letters and writings not published to be burned. Thank God a friend intervened. Emily kept her poetry vague and was often criticized and labeled as crazy and having a "fictitious lover." The more her work was torn to shreds, the more secluded she became, but she did not stop writing.
It takes great courage to pour emotions onto paper. Your heart bleeds and as it does, you write not with ink but with your own blood. And, then, you are misunderstood. You accomplish what you set out to do in the process, bringing the reader into a world they had never thought of. But, you, the poet is misunderstood. Hence, the struggle of the great love I have for words. Memorized by the power within my soul, I can only write what is in my heart.
My life closed twice before its close.
It yet remains to see
If immortality unveil
A third event to me,
So huge, so hopeless to conceive
As these that twice befell,
Parting is all we know of heaven,
And all we need of hell.
Emily Dickinson
The poet's job is to describe emotions through words in the simplest of forms. We give feelings to objects that normally cannot feel. Trees bleed, ocean's roar, bird's cry. Often times the reader just does not understand.
Most of my poetry is dark. I rarely share it, and I understand why I don't. When I write poetry, I tap into a very dark and hidden place within me. It is almost as if it is not me at all. I transform into what I try to write about. I know that this sounds insane, perhaps, it is.
I had a professor once pull the most deepest of emotions from me through an assignment. The lesson was not to just write a poem, but become the object in the poem. "I don't think I can." He looked at me, "if anyone can. You can." And, I learned to transport myself out of my body to another place. I became the person in the poem, the tree, the river, the sky. I closed my eyes and learned to feel emotions and relate the feelings into words of that object. I remember writing about piano keys. He was impressed, "this is exactly what a piano's key would feel like if it could feel."
I keep my poetry hidden deep, deep, deep within my soul because it opens a window that few can relate to. I can now understand completely why some of the great literary minds have retrieved and lived confined within their own minds. The more we give of ourselves through our writing, the more vulnerable we become, and the less understood.
Hemingway was an alcoholic, ultimately committed suicide. Virginia Wolf filled her pockets with coins and walked into the ocean. Sylvia Plath put her head into an oven could not handle rejection. Yet, she earned a Pulitzer Prize for her dark and disturbing poetry. Elizabeth Browning was prescribed opium for her "affliction". Even the great master, Shakespeare was laughed at and struggled as an artist and died thinking he was a failure.
Emily Dickinson was said to be an anti-social and secluded herself. She died a premature death diagnosed by doctors as a cause of stress and depression. Upon her death, her sister instructed all letters and writings not published to be burned. Thank God a friend intervened. Emily kept her poetry vague and was often criticized and labeled as crazy and having a "fictitious lover." The more her work was torn to shreds, the more secluded she became, but she did not stop writing.
It takes great courage to pour emotions onto paper. Your heart bleeds and as it does, you write not with ink but with your own blood. And, then, you are misunderstood. You accomplish what you set out to do in the process, bringing the reader into a world they had never thought of. But, you, the poet is misunderstood. Hence, the struggle of the great love I have for words. Memorized by the power within my soul, I can only write what is in my heart.
My life closed twice before its close.
It yet remains to see
If immortality unveil
A third event to me,
So huge, so hopeless to conceive
As these that twice befell,
Parting is all we know of heaven,
And all we need of hell.
Emily Dickinson
Monday, August 3, 2009
Why I Write
"No Tears in the writer. No tears in the Reader." Robert Frost
Writing is more than just a craft or a talent, it is flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood. When I write, I open my heart and soul and pour every emotion into the blank pages before me. The colors come alive not with a paint brush or paints but with words.
I sit quietly listening to the voices in the silence that feed the words. Words that will come alive in my pages. I listen to the rain and the sound of the pain of every rain drop. I hear the laughter of the butterflies that frolic in the yellow roses in a random garden. I grasp the shade of blue in the ocean and spill it on to the white page before me. I never cease to ask questions and wait for the answers that come in the form of all that is created by the Master's hand.
I open my heart, and in doing so, I invite the reader into the world born from all that is within me. If I do not shed tears then the reader will not cry. If I do not laugh then the reader will not find joy. My infinite and daunting task is to bring the reader into my heart, open the door to my soul, extend a chair, and let them into to the depths of all of my emotions. In doing so, I become naked and at the mercy of the reader.
If I cannot become one with the reader than I am not a writer.
Lucy Tamajon
Writing is more than just a craft or a talent, it is flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood. When I write, I open my heart and soul and pour every emotion into the blank pages before me. The colors come alive not with a paint brush or paints but with words.
I sit quietly listening to the voices in the silence that feed the words. Words that will come alive in my pages. I listen to the rain and the sound of the pain of every rain drop. I hear the laughter of the butterflies that frolic in the yellow roses in a random garden. I grasp the shade of blue in the ocean and spill it on to the white page before me. I never cease to ask questions and wait for the answers that come in the form of all that is created by the Master's hand.
I open my heart, and in doing so, I invite the reader into the world born from all that is within me. If I do not shed tears then the reader will not cry. If I do not laugh then the reader will not find joy. My infinite and daunting task is to bring the reader into my heart, open the door to my soul, extend a chair, and let them into to the depths of all of my emotions. In doing so, I become naked and at the mercy of the reader.
If I cannot become one with the reader than I am not a writer.
Lucy Tamajon
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Hello, again
Well, I had taken a break from my blogs because I did not think that anyone was reading them or even remotely interested. Then one friend mentioned how much they enjoyed my blogs, and when I asked a few people they told me that they did read my blogs but just didn't want to comment. "It is the quiet ones, like me, that look forward to your writings the most." That was a comment from a friend, I was touched.
It seems that they find their voice through what I perceive to be my sometimes silly ramblings. They find comfort in my words. And, even look for guidance during some of their difficult times. I was touched and overwhelmed with emotions.
Therefore, if I can touch one person, make a difference in one person's life, then, I will blog. After all, we are all here to do God's work; and, God's work at times may be doing the small things in life often enough to make a difference.
I welcome all comments, ideas, suggestions, and feedback. Your input helps me be a better writer and a better person, and that is what my heart longs for.
I will be blogging regularly. I will make this interesting, different, and uniquely me. Much love and peace.
It seems that they find their voice through what I perceive to be my sometimes silly ramblings. They find comfort in my words. And, even look for guidance during some of their difficult times. I was touched and overwhelmed with emotions.
Therefore, if I can touch one person, make a difference in one person's life, then, I will blog. After all, we are all here to do God's work; and, God's work at times may be doing the small things in life often enough to make a difference.
I welcome all comments, ideas, suggestions, and feedback. Your input helps me be a better writer and a better person, and that is what my heart longs for.
I will be blogging regularly. I will make this interesting, different, and uniquely me. Much love and peace.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Letting Go, Moving On
Runners are fascinating beings. I watch in awe as the forge forward without even a second glance back. With fierce power and determination, they focus on what is ahead not on what they have left behind. If they stopped and looked back, they would never get to the finish line.
The story of Medusa is infamous, stop and look into her eyes, and turn to stone. Don't look back. And, from the pages of the Bible, Lot's wife is warned not to look back or she'll turn into a pillar of salt.
I have had several conversations this week with friends either stuck in quick sand or trying to move forward but crippled because they keep looking back. They keep going back to the same place that they are trying to move away from. Bottom line is that moving on, looking ahead, forging forward is not easy. It is difficult. It is painful. Often times, seems impossible. We have to let go of our comfort zone, let go of the security blanket that we have been gripping for so long in order to move forward. Yet, it must be done because the past signifies little.
We need to shed all that is holding us back. As if we were on a ship in the middle of the ocean, the horizon is within view, Paradise. However, we cannot reach our destination because we are carrying too much weight. We will surely sink. We must toss overboard everything that is weighing us down. Fear. Anguish. Hate. Resentment. Anger. Guilt. False belief systems. All of it, off. And, if it is a person that brings these emotions into your life, they must be tossed over as well.
As long as we are trapped within the vast darkness of the past, we will not be able to baste the light of the future.
The story of Medusa is infamous, stop and look into her eyes, and turn to stone. Don't look back. And, from the pages of the Bible, Lot's wife is warned not to look back or she'll turn into a pillar of salt.
I have had several conversations this week with friends either stuck in quick sand or trying to move forward but crippled because they keep looking back. They keep going back to the same place that they are trying to move away from. Bottom line is that moving on, looking ahead, forging forward is not easy. It is difficult. It is painful. Often times, seems impossible. We have to let go of our comfort zone, let go of the security blanket that we have been gripping for so long in order to move forward. Yet, it must be done because the past signifies little.
We need to shed all that is holding us back. As if we were on a ship in the middle of the ocean, the horizon is within view, Paradise. However, we cannot reach our destination because we are carrying too much weight. We will surely sink. We must toss overboard everything that is weighing us down. Fear. Anguish. Hate. Resentment. Anger. Guilt. False belief systems. All of it, off. And, if it is a person that brings these emotions into your life, they must be tossed over as well.
As long as we are trapped within the vast darkness of the past, we will not be able to baste the light of the future.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
A Life Not in Vain
I was told not too long ago, “oh, you are just too nice”. “Thanks, I guess,” was my response and a flashed my smile. I’m not sure exactly why I wouldn’t be “nice”? What’s the alternative? Being mean? Being bitter? Being angry? Why? I don’t understand it.
In any event, I take being “nice” as a compliment; Lord, knows I have been called worse things.
I don’t see myself as being nice, however, I just am. One of my favorite poems is, “Not in Vain”, by Emily Dickinson. I have it taped on the front cover of my daily planner. I want to share with you because it is how I live my life on a daily basis.
Not in Vain
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain.
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live my life in vain.
Today, smile at a stranger. Say good morning to someone that otherwise you would have ignored. Don’t cross the street when you see the “homeless bum” walking your way. Say, “thank you” to the cashier at the grocery store. Give your child an extra hug and a big sloppy kiss. Write your hubby a little love note. And, when the angry jerk on the road cuts you off, flash a smile and say “God loves even you!”
Mother Teresa said, “God does not desire us to do great things, but to do little things with great love.”
In any event, I take being “nice” as a compliment; Lord, knows I have been called worse things.
I don’t see myself as being nice, however, I just am. One of my favorite poems is, “Not in Vain”, by Emily Dickinson. I have it taped on the front cover of my daily planner. I want to share with you because it is how I live my life on a daily basis.
Not in Vain
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain.
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live my life in vain.
Today, smile at a stranger. Say good morning to someone that otherwise you would have ignored. Don’t cross the street when you see the “homeless bum” walking your way. Say, “thank you” to the cashier at the grocery store. Give your child an extra hug and a big sloppy kiss. Write your hubby a little love note. And, when the angry jerk on the road cuts you off, flash a smile and say “God loves even you!”
Mother Teresa said, “God does not desire us to do great things, but to do little things with great love.”
Copyright ©Lucy Tamajon 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Pruning
Every year, I prune what is the garden of my life. We cannot grow, we cannot blossom, if we do not prune. Those that have known me for awhile, know the process. For you who are just getting to know me, it's weird but did you expect anything less?Pruning means I sit down and take a look at the year, at my life. I face things I don't want to face. I smile at things that I do. I take a hard look at what's holding me back, what's causing pain, what is stopping me from growing.
Literally and figuratively. I clean clutter, throw away garbage that's piled up, and make room for new and wonderful things. "What do you mean?" asked a friend of mine, "do you clean your house?" Yes, it my house, but, more importantly, my life.The most difficult thing to do is prune people, but I do. Sounds crazy? Of course, it is but it's a must. There may be people in your life (and we all have them) that are negative, constantly focusing on all that you dont have, constantly bringing you down. They've got to go! Those are the weeds. There is just so much you can try to convert a weed into a flower. It doesn't happen. As long as you have weeds, you won't grow.So, this week I am pruning. :o)
Not much to prune, I'm happy to report. Just a little here and there. I'm looking forward to 2009. I have put all my troubles in the Hands of the Lord, especially that that I cannot handle on my own. I will laugh often, as much as I can. I will love unconditionally remembering that I am here to do God's work; and, God's work is simple. I will remember that regardless of how difficult my life has been at times, it has been amazing always; and, He has never let me down.
I am so grateful that my friends, my family, and all that I have. I have met such wonderful people. And you have all reinforced my faith and my love in God. We are all connected. We are all here to help each other get through this mess... called life. Now let's just do it with a big old smile on our face!
I love you all. Much Love & Peace in 2009!
I wrote this in January of 2009, it's time to take a loook and prune again.
Literally and figuratively. I clean clutter, throw away garbage that's piled up, and make room for new and wonderful things. "What do you mean?" asked a friend of mine, "do you clean your house?" Yes, it my house, but, more importantly, my life.The most difficult thing to do is prune people, but I do. Sounds crazy? Of course, it is but it's a must. There may be people in your life (and we all have them) that are negative, constantly focusing on all that you dont have, constantly bringing you down. They've got to go! Those are the weeds. There is just so much you can try to convert a weed into a flower. It doesn't happen. As long as you have weeds, you won't grow.So, this week I am pruning. :o)
Not much to prune, I'm happy to report. Just a little here and there. I'm looking forward to 2009. I have put all my troubles in the Hands of the Lord, especially that that I cannot handle on my own. I will laugh often, as much as I can. I will love unconditionally remembering that I am here to do God's work; and, God's work is simple. I will remember that regardless of how difficult my life has been at times, it has been amazing always; and, He has never let me down.
I am so grateful that my friends, my family, and all that I have. I have met such wonderful people. And you have all reinforced my faith and my love in God. We are all connected. We are all here to help each other get through this mess... called life. Now let's just do it with a big old smile on our face!
I love you all. Much Love & Peace in 2009!
I wrote this in January of 2009, it's time to take a loook and prune again.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Our Lives in the Snap of a Flash
I have been sitting here looking at old photographs; smiling as I do so, crying at times, and wondering. Wondering about the people that have come, those that have gone, and those that remain. Wondering about the laughs we shared and the laughs we are sharing now. It’s great to look at the old cars, the clothes, the hair styles, and squinting as I stare at the picture and try to remember an old familiar face. “Oh! God, yes I remember.” We shout with excitement as if it was Christmas and we were opening a present.
When I was little, well maybe not me, I was always a ham; we, always got mad at our moms for snapping those pictures. We pouted and frowned, “stop it! No more pictures!” we’d scream, we’d stump our feet and walk away hearing her complain about how difficult we were. Now, we are digging through old boxes for a scrap of some old time memory; wondering what happened to that best friend we had in 6th grade; or that kid we had the crush on in 8th. We dig and hold on to the picture like if it was a life line; sometimes, speechless when we see the face of someone no longer with us; or, smile when we remember the words of a teacher that made an impact on our lives with us even knowing it.
We wish someone would have given us a “heads up” on life; maybe they did and we just didn’t listen. We wish we could have said something to someone at sometime, but we didn’t. We wonder about what we’ve done and haven’t done; and, in an attempt to recapture the carefree days of our youth, we reach out to those we shared so much with so long ago and hope they can somehow restore and heal some of lives hard knocks.
The days have turned into years; and the years have slipped through our fingers in a snap of a flash.
Here is to good friends and good memories, Cheers!
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