The topic is commitment. Oh, no, the dreaded “C” word requires some really powerful Margaritas. It seems my friends think I have a commitment issue. I laugh; I drink; and I laugh some more. But, they are my friends, and, of course, I feel the need to validate my philosophy somewhat anyway knowing they love me regardless and that they are just a little "worried".
Why they feel this way, well, apparently I’ve been “single” too long. Oh, no! The dreaded “S” word! Being single is never easy especially when everyone around you is coupled up and have their VIP passes to the Couple’s Ark.
I’ve thought about this. Do I? Really? Well, let’s analysis because, hey, this is what I do. I was married for 18 years. My shortest relationship with any man was 2 years and that was in High School. I have my own home which I maintain. I support my children, pay my bills, and I hold a job which I plan to stick to regardless of the challenges. Yeah, definitely, I see a commitment issue.
Thing is that I am happy with my life as it is. I have been “single” for eight years now. It appears that the longer I’m single, the happier I am. The happier I am, the longer I want to stay this way. No, I’m not lonely. My life is filled with friends, family, and the things that I love to do. I love my free spirit and don’t want to be in a cage where I’m just a pretty little pet for someone else to show off.
I’m not sure I understand why women need to have a man by their side to validate their existence. I’m not sure why we need to only be complete when we are dating, married, or with a “significant other”. Not that there’s anything wrong with being coupled up, if that is where you want to be. I’m here to tell single girls everywhere that it is okay to be single. To get to know yourself and be in a relationship with yourself. It is fine. There is nothing wrong with a woman being single. Nothing.
Maybe not everyone was meant to be coupled up right off the bat. Maybe, just maybe we should go to that VIP ARK party on our own and figure it out later. If there is a match that’s awesome, and if not, who cares?
Being single is not a curse but a blessing because eventually the right soul will float into our lives; and, we’ll know ourselves so well that he’ll just settle in without any effort at all.
Til then, Cheers my single friends! Cheers!
This is funny! So the consulation prize for "single" women is that they will eventually "not" be single? I just don't get it? Why would they want a partner eventually, if it's great being single. I thought it was a choice to be single and not just circumstances. And how does the right soul just float in and "settle in"? So single women won't have to work at their relationships, because they will have known themselves so well it will be effortless? Isn't it said that the longer one lives alone the harder it is to adjust to living with someone else? Humm? :/ You were definitely meant to be loved and not understood!! Cheers my friend! <3
ReplyDeleteIf I'm misunderstood then I have failed to communicate. I can only speak of my own feelings as to being single. I find the longer I'm single the happier I am. I fill completely fulfilled at this time, and the need to co-habitate really doesn't appeal to me at this time. Will I feel differently in a year, two, five? Who knows.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has to "work" at relationships; however, if you know who you are, what you want, what you need, and if you are truly happy with yourself; and, the other person is at the same level, then, yes, I believe the work is much less.
Love should not be work, and it isn't work. Only when you have truly loved from the heart and soul do you realize how unconditional love is.
Yes, I believe that at the right time, the right soul will enter your life IF that is what is meant to be and it will be effortless. That is my belief.
For me being single is not a horrible thing. Was it a choice? In part it was but it was also circumstances that lead me to this state. It was difficult at the beginning, but being on my own is not so horrible that I should settle.
I think couplehood is a beautiful thing. I really do. What I don't understand is the desperation in some women to "find" a man at all costs and to settle in so many instances falling short.
The time alone is a time to rediscover yourself. How can you be happy in any relationship if you are not happy with yourself? If you are anxious? If you are eager? If you are frightened to be alone?
Love is simple and very easy. It is. Anything else is not. Therefore, unless it is true love that floats in and settles in what is my heart, I will remain, yours truly...
Simply Misunderstood =) Cheers!
Thanks for explaining it, I do agree with what you are pointing out now and understand it better... I enjoyed my single years too, and learned a lot about myself that I couldn't otherwise. It's important to remain true to yourself even within a relationship. So continue enjoying this precious time, if the right one comes along you will recognize him right away! <3
ReplyDelete=) At the end of the day, this spiritual journey is about me and how I can make this earth just a little bit better. I cannot stop famine, or wars, or cure deceases... but "if I can stop one heart from breaking, then I have not lived in vain" Emily Dickinson.
ReplyDeleteIt's not about finding a "perfect" mate, but about loving... and love for me means helping others in whatever small way I can. Maybe it's a smile to a stranger or listening to a friend, "Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love." Mother Teresa. And, so I try.
Just for the record, I've never been understood. My first recollection of this was at a very young age. My mind has never worked as "excepted" by my parents, teachers, or friends. So, it's totally cool. I've been misunderstood, always... One of my favorite's in closing:
"From childhood's hour I have not been. As others were, I have not seen. As others saw, I could not awaken. My heart to joy at the same tone. And all I loved, I loved alone."
— Edgar Allan Poe
I love this poem!!! If anything describes me, it is it.
Much Love <3