It's Complicated

Communication is key in any relationship and it starts from the get go. I’m not sure I’ll ever understand how signals get so mixed up when the opposite sex tries to communicate with each other, but it does. We say one thing, they understand something else. “They” for the sake of this blog, are men; and, they are clueless about us. “Us” are women.

I suppose it all started in the wonderful place called Eden. If ever a relationship was to flourish it would be there. The perfect setting. Think about it. What did “we” have to bitch about? It was Eden, for the love… no calories, no fat, we could walk around naked and not worry about cellulite or think about liposuction. No bad hair days, no arguing, no fighting. Perfect bliss. “They” had it pretty good too. Nothing to do but lay around and watch National Geographic all day! But, we just couldn’t communicate. It was complicated.

I’m certain that Eve’s intention was not to end the honeymoon. It never is. She probably wanted a little something “more” that day. Maybe needed a little attention and when she sparked the conversation about that “there tree with those apples” it really wasn’t about the apple but about spending quality time. Adam not being able to pick up the signals, bit the damn thing; and, well, here we are thousands of years later in relationship hell.
I watched in modern horror as the scene of the forbidden apple played before my eyes. Two amazing people that seem to click have a conversation. “Listen, I can stand on my own two feet. I make my own money. I have my own house. I pay for my own car. If I want a Gucci purse, I can get it. I like nice things, and I can get it on my own.” She says. What she means is she is independent and what she needs from a man is love, understanding, and quality time.

What “he” hears is, “she’s high maintenance. I can’t keep up with this.” In reality she isn’t, but those signals are so mixed up that the message is lost. She thinks he’s not interested when he is but is only hesitant and frightened. He thinks she’s never going to be interested in him because he doesn’t have what it takes and backs off. “NO!!” I think, all we need is a communication filter.
I’m not sure we can ever figure this out, “it’s complicated.” Books, articles, and endless movies about the communication gap have tried to clear the issue to no avail.

I’m left wondering, how complicated is it really? Perhaps, it’s as simple as listening? We do have two ears and one mouth, and I know God had a purpose for that as well not just that damn relationship apple from hell!