The topic was break-ups. Not just break-ups but disappointing break-ups. The ones that leave us wondering what in the world went wrong with this relationship? This definitely merited a martini, not just any martini but a Bikini Apple-tini.
Thing is that the so called relationship was doomed from day one. Why? Because we cannot change people. We cannot mold and shape people to be what we need. They must be what we need from the get go. And, by the same token we must be what they need as well. No one changes for anyone else. It just doesn’t happen.
I admit, sometimes it’s not easy to detect that they are trying to change us. “Honey, I love you but you would be unbelievable if you worked out a little more.” Or, “How many drinks have you had? You drink too much.” Or, “Do you really need to eat that bowl of ice cream?” The remarks are subtle but the intent is there, they want to alter us. Change who we are to accommodate their needs and their perception of what you need to be for them. Women do the same as well.
Bottom line, people come, “AS IS”. We are who we are and we need to be accepted as we are. There are no returns, changes, or alterations. The minute we alter or try to alter the person we are with, the relationship is doomed.
It may take time to find someone that accepts us “AS IS”. It may take longer than we want or expected. We may get anxious wondering if there is someone out there that is willing to accept to love us with all our factory defects, our imperfections, and our amazing authentic selves. Ladies, there is. He may be the person you least expect. He will come into your lives when you are not looking. He will smile and when he does, the world will stand still; and you’ll know in a split second that no alterations are required. He will love you “AS IS”.
